Diddums

Let me start off by saying that I hate RPGs. All of the Fallout games? Nope. Elder Scrolls? Nope. No, not even Guyrim. Metro? Nein. I am yet to complete a GTA game beyond GTA 1. The only RPG which really held my attention properly was WoW and STALKER. Red Dead 1 was a borefest for me, I lasted about an hour and got rid. As I'm sure any self respecting gamer will know, every now and then a game is released which single handedly embarrasses the rest of the gaming industry and after years of hearing Youtubers suck off the clusterfucks that are released as collections of unoptimized bugs, glitches and sub-par shite which focuses on flogging loot boxes and DLCs rather than... you know... being a game, it's refreshing to play a game which looks at the entire industry and goes "hold my beer". That game, this time around, is Red Dead Redemption 2. I am playing it on PS4, not a Pro so I don't have all the 4k stuff and just like Rockstar did with GTA 5 at the end of the PS3's life cycle, they've pretty much torn all the other devs a new one. From the various disconnection messages of Destiny, to the constant freezing, locking, and unable-to-record-any-gameplay-because-it-takes-five-hours-to-load-the-sharing-interface that is Black Ops 3, Rockstar has yet again shown what this aging console is capable of when you develop a game properly. Everything about this game is smooth, buttery smooth. The graphics are on a whole different level to any other triple A title I've played in the last few years, the sound is astonishing even down to the conversations and interactions with NPCs. I just spent 15 minutes riding a wagon around, looking at all the scenery, the little rabbits, deer and other wildlife roaming around, just soaking it all in. No other game has made me do this in years. The pace of the game is slow and relaxing. You can rush through everything but you'll be missing out on a world with more details than any other game I have played in recent memory. I also just found out that even my horse's bollocks grow and shrink according to the weather. I have no idea what kind of person focuses on their horse's plums in a video game and whether I should re-evaluate who I game with but there's no denying that it's ridiculous to have these tiny little things in the game that normal people would never notice. And the game is dripping in them. Everywhere you look, the attention to detail is amazing. The gun fighting and cover system is textbook GTA but with extra polish and it's very, very good. The fights at this point feel a bit easy but I suspect they're going to get a lot more difficult as the game goes on. I'll update this as I go as I still have to discover all the crafting, gathering, trading and other stuff in the game but so far this is the best game I've played in over a decade. 10/10 for me so far.

Stretch can suck on my chocolate salty bal.... wait, what?

I just completed this quiz. My Score 70/100 My Time 95 seconds

Bob takes far too much killing. Quite like Ashe but I need to learn to play that ball thing as Mercy is fucking useless now.

Colony is a bit shit tbh. Once you recognise the sound it makes just jump and it'll go after someone else. Black guys tend to die less to it.

Today I met a comedian telling jokes in an elevator. It was funny on so many levels.

He's absolutely superb that young gentleman, must be a milkman's baby. You need to get him in some RL competitions.

So as Diddums has hassled me for a year to play this, I have started my journey. Man, it's a magpies heaven with the amount things to click on. I'll report back after a few chapters. Bout fucking time. You filthy casual. I 100%ed it.

Mkay so I split this up from the other thread as it's worth it. Will add my bit soon, was gonna do it now but I'm playing with my balls.

If I get time tomorrow I'll do a nice one Dave. Sadly no photos as my phone's a bit borked

Superb, as always. Huge thanks to the @GazzaGarratt for organising it and the trophies are absolutely excellent. Pity someone broke theirs but we'll get this sorted in no time. Great to meet all the newer faces too, many mental images shattered in to a million pieces already.

I can barely contain my excitement.

Gamers are cunts. Any glitch / cheat / loophole / hack / bug / other exploit is always abused by the complete and utter wankstains who's mum probably should've swallowed. I'll grab my Synthoceps.

Let's be honest, we passed the point of no return over a decade ago. I still remember reading an article in PC Format about microtransactions and how it'd affect the gaming industry. If I remember rightly it was FIFA that started it, and back then it was a seriously hot topic with loads of devs saying they'd never succumb to it. 10 years later and it's in every mainstream game on the market. Granted you don't have to spunk any money on them and in the case of Fortnite when the game is free it's justified but when £60 games want another £60 for an annual pass and on top have all these shitty loot boxes for even more wedge on top I can't help but think how stupid people are. These companies are doing it 100% out of pure greed. The quality isn't improving, it's not going to the men on the ground, and none of it is going to a cause worthwhile, it's all going to fatcat publishers. It's bullshit and it needs to die but with all these dipshit gamers sucking it up like crack it'll only get worse.

I'd like to unlock your mum 😎

What irritates me is that you get two of the bastard things and they take forever to kill. They zap you in a second, their accuracy seems to be 100%. As far as I'm aware they are immune to flash bangs and you can't lock on with a launcher even.

Well Sony refused my refund, party poopers. This meant I had to give the game another go. Lo and behold, exactly the same as BO3, in that I do well solo but suck in parties. I know I'm not a good player, but I'm not that bad. If my shit gameplay was down to me I'd happily raise my hand but it's not, it's 100% down to the connection, and that's what pisses me off. Frags, my favourite item in any shooter, are now unlocked at prestige 14 level 29 or some shit and the shotguns are completely useless. I'll still play it because let's be honest, I love a good moan but I certainly won't be seeking to do any challenges or anything.

I've been down the youtube rabbit hole. They are absolutely ruthless in their defense of their income. I've seen how little of a shit they give about content creators first hand. Their algorithm is very simple: Will this affect us if we leave it up? If yes, remove. If no, leave there. The content doesn't matter, you could post a vid containing the cure to cancer and it's fine. Add in 3 seconds of some bullshit song nobody knows? Gone. They don't negotiate, they don't help, they don't offer any advice, nothing. They'll send you an email saying that you contravened their T&Cs and the vid is taken down and that's the end of it. They went thru a phase where they'd remove the audio or stick ads over the content without giving a shit to claim some money but those days are gone. This Fortnite player is generating income for Google and regardless of the community, it'll stay forever, because money > everything. I've been on the dark side of most of these companies' products, whether it be Adsense, Adwords, Youtube, Google Analytics, the lot. I can say from first hand experience that when it comes to the bottom line, zero fucks are given. Ever.

Ladies and gentlemen, Call of Duty! I'm not even ignoring the complete and utter clusterfuck I had trying to record this. Took me forever to record a 17 second clip.

Well at least I didn't start enjoying this kids' game. No I didn't. Shut up.

Only the fuckin' Dutch 😎🤣

Do your posts come in ebook format Leigh?

I haven't played it yet but I'm looking forward to it. I got bored of the first one back in 2010 but my taste in games has changed a lot in the last 8 years so we'll see. The reviews are all overwhelmingly positive so I have high hopes. One thing I'll never forget was Rockstar's ability to eke out every last bit of performance from the end-of-line PS3 with GTA 5. When you had the likes of CoD claiming that theu couldn't do x or y because the PS3 was already pushing its limits, Rockstar then released GTA which put every other dev to shame. The game had 10x the content of all the other games and apart from the loading times it ran smooth as butter. I'm hoping they do the same with RDR2. I'd love tobe able to conclusively prove how poorly optimized other games are. They're not pushing the PS4 in terms of power, they're just really poorly optimized (Destiny 2's escalation protocols being a perfect example, shitloads of fancy lighting effects that improve the game experience by maybe 5% but drop you down to single digit FPS numbers). I'm looking forward to it.

Right well here we go. I bought the game on PSN yesterday, waited a million hours for it to download, only to find that I was unable to play multiplayer because only Blackout was ready. Played blackout for a bit, it's not bad per se, but it's not good either. There is too much bullshit and the graphics look like they're from a 15 year old game. To its credit, I love the map style and how Treyarch have incorporated all their previous maps in to one massive map. The fact that I can plow 15 mags in to a person only for him to turn around and kill me with a single shot is typical CoD bullshit but I think I've just come to the realisation that life's too short to put up with all this crap. Once multiplayer loaded up I hopped in to a game of Domination on Icebreaker. I've been wondering how best to describe this experience, and although words generally fail me, this is the best I could come up with: Imagine having your scrotum screwed in to a workbench. Now imagine having a pack of rabid wolves tug at you with nothing but your scrotum preventing you from being dragged in to the sunset. Whilst these wolves are yanking at your body and slowly tearing away chunks of meat, you are getting noshed off by Susan Boyle in a tutu. Overcome by the sheer pain and discomfort, you don't even notice the nipple clamps pumping 240v through you and the syringes injecting pure herpes in to your eyeballs. That's about the sum of it. I lasted one game. One. The words best affiliated with this game are: Spawn campers. Fucked spawns. Map too small. Bullshit hit detection. Head glitching (everywhere, literally every single corner in the map has some bullshit head glitching spot) Lag. P2P hosting (in 2018, come on ffs) And last but not least: The cunts that play it. The thing that irritates me the most about this game is the fact that you can't even create a class when you start. Nope, you have to use the bullshit standard classes against players who have diamond camos (yes, really) and everything unlocked. These guys will then head glitch and spawn camp you leaving you unable to move and even when you can move your only defense is some bullshit gun that Treyarch has decided is your only option until you've sunk multiple hours in to the game. It was honestly the worst experience I've ever had in a videogame, and this is the first time I've ever asked for a refund. I ain't paying for this shit, no chance. @techno you are spot on to pass on this one. It's digital cancer, I honestly can't even describe how much I absolutely detest this game.

40 kills baby!