Diddums

I'm good. Only killed a few randoms so far and am actually enjoying being the nice guy for once, maybe I'm getting old. Next time I'll do the proper outlaw thing and fuck everyone up.

This is the first time since WoW that I’ve actually wanted to rush home to the play a game, and the first time ever on a single player game. It’s mind meltingly good.

It was actually Nutty who pointed it out, no idea what his source is. @BO7H B4RRELS you know I've got the attention span of ooooooh butterfly. Plus most of the big RPGs came out during my WoW phase, and nothing could knock that game off its throne. I do still have a hat, this seems to be a thing. Crashing horses is fun. Also, I'm now a million miles away from anywhere with no fast travel because I picked up a side mission and spent the next hour travelling through the countryside and admiring it all. I did however find an enemy gang camp, so I killed them all and stole their celery.

Let me start off by saying that I hate RPGs. All of the Fallout games? Nope. Elder Scrolls? Nope. No, not even Guyrim. Metro? Nein. I am yet to complete a GTA game beyond GTA 1. The only RPG which really held my attention properly was WoW and STALKER. Red Dead 1 was a borefest for me, I lasted about an hour and got rid. As I'm sure any self respecting gamer will know, every now and then a game is released which single handedly embarrasses the rest of the gaming industry and after years of hearing Youtubers suck off the clusterfucks that are released as collections of unoptimized bugs, glitches and sub-par shite which focuses on flogging loot boxes and DLCs rather than... you know... being a game, it's refreshing to play a game which looks at the entire industry and goes "hold my beer". That game, this time around, is Red Dead Redemption 2. I am playing it on PS4, not a Pro so I don't have all the 4k stuff and just like Rockstar did with GTA 5 at the end of the PS3's life cycle, they've pretty much torn all the other devs a new one. From the various disconnection messages of Destiny, to the constant freezing, locking, and unable-to-record-any-gameplay-because-it-takes-five-hours-to-load-the-sharing-interface that is Black Ops 3, Rockstar has yet again shown what this aging console is capable of when you develop a game properly. Everything about this game is smooth, buttery smooth. The graphics are on a whole different level to any other triple A title I've played in the last few years, the sound is astonishing even down to the conversations and interactions with NPCs. I just spent 15 minutes riding a wagon around, looking at all the scenery, the little rabbits, deer and other wildlife roaming around, just soaking it all in. No other game has made me do this in years. The pace of the game is slow and relaxing. You can rush through everything but you'll be missing out on a world with more details than any other game I have played in recent memory. I also just found out that even my horse's bollocks grow and shrink according to the weather. I have no idea what kind of person focuses on their horse's plums in a video game and whether I should re-evaluate who I game with but there's no denying that it's ridiculous to have these tiny little things in the game that normal people would never notice. And the game is dripping in them. Everywhere you look, the attention to detail is amazing. The gun fighting and cover system is textbook GTA but with extra polish and it's very, very good. The fights at this point feel a bit easy but I suspect they're going to get a lot more difficult as the game goes on. I'll update this as I go as I still have to discover all the crafting, gathering, trading and other stuff in the game but so far this is the best game I've played in over a decade. 10/10 for me so far.

Stretch can suck on my chocolate salty bal.... wait, what?

I just completed this quiz. My Score 70/100 My Time 95 seconds

Bob takes far too much killing. Quite like Ashe but I need to learn to play that ball thing as Mercy is fucking useless now.

Colony is a bit shit tbh. Once you recognise the sound it makes just jump and it'll go after someone else. Black guys tend to die less to it.

Today I met a comedian telling jokes in an elevator. It was funny on so many levels.

He's absolutely superb that young gentleman, must be a milkman's baby. You need to get him in some RL competitions.

So as Diddums has hassled me for a year to play this, I have started my journey. Man, it's a magpies heaven with the amount things to click on. I'll report back after a few chapters. Bout fucking time. You filthy casual. I 100%ed it.

Mkay so I split this up from the other thread as it's worth it. Will add my bit soon, was gonna do it now but I'm playing with my balls.

If I get time tomorrow I'll do a nice one Dave. Sadly no photos as my phone's a bit borked

Superb, as always. Huge thanks to the @GazzaGarratt for organising it and the trophies are absolutely excellent. Pity someone broke theirs but we'll get this sorted in no time. Great to meet all the newer faces too, many mental images shattered in to a million pieces already.

I can barely contain my excitement.

Gamers are cunts. Any glitch / cheat / loophole / hack / bug / other exploit is always abused by the complete and utter wankstains who's mum probably should've swallowed. I'll grab my Synthoceps.

Let's be honest, we passed the point of no return over a decade ago. I still remember reading an article in PC Format about microtransactions and how it'd affect the gaming industry. If I remember rightly it was FIFA that started it, and back then it was a seriously hot topic with loads of devs saying they'd never succumb to it. 10 years later and it's in every mainstream game on the market. Granted you don't have to spunk any money on them and in the case of Fortnite when the game is free it's justified but when £60 games want another £60 for an annual pass and on top have all these shitty loot boxes for even more wedge on top I can't help but think how stupid people are. These companies are doing it 100% out of pure greed. The quality isn't improving, it's not going to the men on the ground, and none of it is going to a cause worthwhile, it's all going to fatcat publishers. It's bullshit and it needs to die but with all these dipshit gamers sucking it up like crack it'll only get worse.

I'd like to unlock your mum 😎

What irritates me is that you get two of the bastard things and they take forever to kill. They zap you in a second, their accuracy seems to be 100%. As far as I'm aware they are immune to flash bangs and you can't lock on with a launcher even.

Well Sony refused my refund, party poopers. This meant I had to give the game another go. Lo and behold, exactly the same as BO3, in that I do well solo but suck in parties. I know I'm not a good player, but I'm not that bad. If my shit gameplay was down to me I'd happily raise my hand but it's not, it's 100% down to the connection, and that's what pisses me off. Frags, my favourite item in any shooter, are now unlocked at prestige 14 level 29 or some shit and the shotguns are completely useless. I'll still play it because let's be honest, I love a good moan but I certainly won't be seeking to do any challenges or anything.

I've been down the youtube rabbit hole. They are absolutely ruthless in their defense of their income. I've seen how little of a shit they give about content creators first hand. Their algorithm is very simple: Will this affect us if we leave it up? If yes, remove. If no, leave there. The content doesn't matter, you could post a vid containing the cure to cancer and it's fine. Add in 3 seconds of some bullshit song nobody knows? Gone. They don't negotiate, they don't help, they don't offer any advice, nothing. They'll send you an email saying that you contravened their T&Cs and the vid is taken down and that's the end of it. They went thru a phase where they'd remove the audio or stick ads over the content without giving a shit to claim some money but those days are gone. This Fortnite player is generating income for Google and regardless of the community, it'll stay forever, because money > everything. I've been on the dark side of most of these companies' products, whether it be Adsense, Adwords, Youtube, Google Analytics, the lot. I can say from first hand experience that when it comes to the bottom line, zero fucks are given. Ever.

Ladies and gentlemen, Call of Duty! I'm not even ignoring the complete and utter clusterfuck I had trying to record this. Took me forever to record a 17 second clip.

Well at least I didn't start enjoying this kids' game. No I didn't. Shut up.

Only the fuckin' Dutch 😎🤣

Do your posts come in ebook format Leigh?