Fast 9.
Going in to this expecting exactly what anyone would expect, I was still amazed. The plot holes are big enough to fit an entire different franchise in, many of the scenes are very clunky - not in that poorly directed way, but in that "I want this to happen in my film and I don't care what you have to do to achieve it" kind of way, regardless of the context or the rest of the film. A few moments of the film went from head scratching, to "is this actually from a different film or something?".
My last point is a bit of a tricky one. I know I can be fussy and generally can't stand when films do stupid shit in the hope that their audience won't know it's bollocks, but in many cases I can turn my brain off and enjoy it. I'm sure most here are the same. My thing is whether this film is just purposefully ignoring the intelligence of its audience altogether, or whether I've just reached my limits of "fuck it, it's a film". I like to think I can stretch my imagination quite a bit, but this doesn't so much as stretch the imagination, but rather take it out your head, chew it, sit on it, fart on it, call it names and abuse it to within an inch of its life, and then put it back in your head expecting you to go "yeah that's awesome".
Maybe I'm just not stupid enough, or I've been exposed to too much technical stuff during my life to know where the line is between "artistic licence" and "utter bullshit". Fuck knows.
Either way the film is as shit as you'd expect, absolutely fucking awful full of family bollocks and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
5/10.