Jump to content

Funny shit jokes


Recommended Posts

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that... 'This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purposes'

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

That last one is so Adam [emoji23]

Via the FG App

Forum Signature Test.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A wife promised her husband she'd be home by midnight when she went out drinking with her friends...

"I'll be home by midnight, I promise." She said.

The hours passed as the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m. and a bit loaded, she headed home. Just as she walked into the door the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and 'cuckooed' 3 times. Quickly realizing that her husband might wake up, the wife cuckooed another 9 times.

She was proud of herself for coming up with such a quick witted solution in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

"Even smashed, 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos equals 12 cuckoos. That's midnight!" She thought.

The next morning the husband asked his wife what time she got home last night.

"Midnight!" She replied. The husband didn't seem pissed in the least so she thought she'd gotten away with it.

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." She asked him why and he said, "Well, last night our clock 'cuckooed' 3 times then said, 'Oh shit', 'cuckooed' 4 times, cleared it's throat, 'cuckooed' 3 times, giggled, 'cuckooed' twice more, then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

Luke 23:34
'And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they don't think it be like it is, but it do."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/23/2017 at 6:30 AM, GazzaGarratt said:

That's amazing! I can hear Diddums singing that already.

 

 

Been singing it for years, it's actually Weebl's Stuff. Check out his channel. 

 

Also Lee, seriously dude, it's like you've just discovered the internet. First Leroy and now this. Where the fuck have you been?

banlol.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Diddums said:

 

 

Been singing it for years, it's actually Weebl's Stuff. Check out his channel. 

 

Also Lee, seriously dude, it's like you've just discovered the internet. First Leroy and now this. Where the fuck have you been?

 

I think my real age is actually 4 years old.

 

LEEEEEEEEEEEERROOOOOOOOOOOOOOYY

Forum Signature Test.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, Diddums said:

 

 

 

STOP FUCKING FORUMMING AND GO HAVE FUN FOR FUCK SAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

😂😂😂😂😂 Okay Dad 😘

Forum Signature Test.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy