GazzaGarratt 11,034 Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 I need a laugh. Come on, give us your best shit jokes of your life folks. I'll try them on the other half later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaGarratt 11,034 Posted March 10, 2017 Author Share Posted March 10, 2017 What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon? Tennish How does a train eat? It goes chew chew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baabcat 1,646 Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains well pull yourself together man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phil bottle 9,732 Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 Why doesn’t Mike Tyson have a PS4? He’s an eXboxer sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaGarratt 11,034 Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 What did the grape say when he got hit?Nothing, just let out a little wine [emoji2] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaGarratt 11,034 Posted May 3, 2017 Author Share Posted May 3, 2017 When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that... 'This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purposes'What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.That last one is so Adam [emoji23] Via the FG App Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaGarratt 11,034 Posted May 8, 2017 Author Share Posted May 8, 2017 Why did the dog want to sit next to a fire? Because he was a Hot Dog My 7 yr old cracks me up sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaGarratt 11,034 Posted May 22, 2017 Author Share Posted May 22, 2017 Courtesy of @Diddums... What does a horse sound like when he holds a chicken toy? Plumbers Crack and francisbaud 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greboth 2,721 Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 @crispymorgan Just for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greboth 2,721 Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 @Stretch616 One for you. It's and oldie but a goodie. Findmartin, crispymorgan and GazzaGarratt 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaGarratt 11,034 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 That's amazing! I can hear Diddums singing that already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sennex 1,903 Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 A wife promised her husband she'd be home by midnight when she went out drinking with her friends... "I'll be home by midnight, I promise." She said. The hours passed as the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m. and a bit loaded, she headed home. Just as she walked into the door the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and 'cuckooed' 3 times. Quickly realizing that her husband might wake up, the wife cuckooed another 9 times. She was proud of herself for coming up with such a quick witted solution in order to escape a possible conflict with him. "Even smashed, 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos equals 12 cuckoos. That's midnight!" She thought. The next morning the husband asked his wife what time she got home last night. "Midnight!" She replied. The husband didn't seem pissed in the least so she thought she'd gotten away with it. Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." She asked him why and he said, "Well, last night our clock 'cuckooed' 3 times then said, 'Oh shit', 'cuckooed' 4 times, cleared it's throat, 'cuckooed' 3 times, giggled, 'cuckooed' twice more, then tripped over the coffee table and farted. NCA-Paendrag and GazzaGarratt 2 Luke 23:34 'And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they don't think it be like it is, but it do." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sennex 1,903 Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Daddy what are clouds made of? Linux servers, mostly... Luke 23:34 'And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they don't think it be like it is, but it do." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Diamond 407 Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 I saw two guys wearing matchinf clothes so i asked them if they were gay.I was promptly arresttedSent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk francisbaud and GazzaGarratt 2 Chookes said:I absoloutely prefer it this way. You have overall more control. You can finish one guy off first, or all ten Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Diamond 407 Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 That last one is so Adam [emoji23] Via the FG AppRudeSent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk Chookes said:I absoloutely prefer it this way. You have overall more control. You can finish one guy off first, or all ten Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaGarratt 11,034 Posted May 24, 2017 Author Share Posted May 24, 2017 2 hours ago, Dr Diamond said: Rude Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk A little late but at least I know you care.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Findmartin 235 Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Lol 😂 that horse video!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaGarratt 11,034 Posted May 26, 2017 Author Share Posted May 26, 2017 I tried to tell a chemistry joke today. No reaction. NCA-Paendrag 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diddums 4,346 Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 On 5/23/2017 at 6:30 AM, GazzaGarratt said: That's amazing! I can hear Diddums singing that already. Been singing it for years, it's actually Weebl's Stuff. Check out his channel. Also Lee, seriously dude, it's like you've just discovered the internet. First Leroy and now this. Where the fuck have you been? GazzaGarratt 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaGarratt 11,034 Posted May 26, 2017 Author Share Posted May 26, 2017 1 hour ago, Diddums said: Been singing it for years, it's actually Weebl's Stuff. Check out his channel. Also Lee, seriously dude, it's like you've just discovered the internet. First Leroy and now this. Where the fuck have you been? I think my real age is actually 4 years old. LEEEEEEEEEEEERROOOOOOOOOOOOOOYY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diddums 4,346 Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 1 minute ago, GazzaGarratt said: I think my real age is actually 4 years old. LEEEEEEEEEEEERROOOOOOOOOOOOOOYY STOP FUCKING FORUMMING AND GO HAVE FUN FOR FUCK SAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GazzaGarratt 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaGarratt 11,034 Posted May 26, 2017 Author Share Posted May 26, 2017 Just now, Diddums said: STOP FUCKING FORUMMING AND GO HAVE FUN FOR FUCK SAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂 Okay Dad 😘 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaGarratt 11,034 Posted May 28, 2017 Author Share Posted May 28, 2017 What do you call a 3 humped camel?Pregnant francisbaud and Dr Diamond 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Diamond 407 Posted May 28, 2017 Share Posted May 28, 2017 Why is EA the worst gaming company in the US ?Cos Ubisoft is in FranceSent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk GazzaGarratt and phil bottle 2 Chookes said:I absoloutely prefer it this way. You have overall more control. You can finish one guy off first, or all ten Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaGarratt 11,034 Posted June 9, 2017 Author Share Posted June 9, 2017 Capital letters The difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse & helping your uncle jack off a horse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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