Chookes

What a break by Real. Ronaldo's pass was brilliant.

I forgot I had him down as that!

My wife enjoyed this too . "You're an idiot" .

That's racist James.

Nopers.

Depends who they have available. Hazard needs to play.

So I get a phone call this evening, the number isn't withheld, it starts 01228 and my phone says Carlisle. Ok, I don't know anyone in Carlisle so I'm guessing it's someone calling from a place that wants to sell me stuff. I answer with "hello", and the guy, LOUDLY, replies... "Hello Euan, how are you this evening?" South African. Loud. It had to be Diddums. "Hi Dave, how's it going?" "Euan, my name is not Dave, I am Rory." My dad does a lot of prank calls. You phone his shop and he answers pretending to be an Indian takeaway. The accent is horrendous and probably a little racist but he's trying to be funny so you let him off. That's what I instantly thought of when Diddums called. I thought that the least he could do when phoning me and pretending to be "Rory" was to try and at least fake an accent. No, he phones and he sounds exactly like he normally does except everytime I called him Dave, he said "my name isn't Dave". At one point, I think I remember telling Dave that I knew it was him because there was no way he could get rid of his South African accent, and "Rory", confused, went "well, duh, I am South African." He decided then to go deeper into his little charade and said he was from Betway and asked if I was watching the Atletico/Chelsea game tonight. To humour him (he still was keeping in character so I was giving him some extra time to keep him happy), I said "no". "But we have great odds on the game tonight." He gave me some odds and told me if I bet £50 I'd get £750 back. I wasn't listening, at this point I thought I was listening to the worst prank call ever so I just kept saying "yes" to his questions. I lost interest, all the time thinking "Dave, you could be doing better FFS." He then told me he was going to send something to my email address and told me what my address was. At this point, I gave him a little credit for getting it right. However, he can easily get my email address from the site. Nice try, but not great. Mediocre. C+. Distinctly average. He then wished me a good evening and saying goodbye. I didn't expect him to hang up. So I sent him a WhatsApp: Just after that question, this SMS arrives: OOPS. The guy must have thought I was an asshole. He must have thought I was drunk calling him Dave all the time or racist telling him to get rid of his South African accent. The rest of the message to Dave:

Just get the bus if you want to come visit me.

Because he's shite at COD.

BBC's Phil McNulty is claiming that Moyes pulled out of deals that were already in place by Man United to sign Thiago from Barca and Garay from Benfica. Incredible, if true.

Jose Mourinho to Man Utd, I like a bit of controversy. Make it happen Ed Woodworm.

It ain't rained in Scotland for a week. A flood is coming, I can feel it. Need to fly Chris here with his Noah shoes to come build me an ark.

Friday. Can't wait.

Rich from Shitey Hackney is a real fan but it's not his (your) quote.

Rich texted BBC now: Rich in Shitey Hackney, via text on 81111: Right decision to sack Moyes. Terrible results. Each defeat made me cry like I had just bitten in to a Supercharger burger.

So called fans: Doug in Fife, via text on 81111: Which Man Utd players would get into Man City, Chelsea, Liverpool? Rooney maybe. Van Persie when he turns up. That's it. Man Utd were supposed to be different. I'm done supporting them.

Sorry misread it. I agree with Dave though. This was a big message from United, better now than at the end of the season. It will be interesting to see who they go for.

There's only 4 games of the season, that can't be saved, remaining. What manager is going to come in for four games knowing that United are going to then look all summer for the correct replacement? Moyes was really out of his depth.

Yep. Come on Bob, show me your goods.

As someone who struggles with his own will power, I just love reading your threads. Weight loss, muscle gain, quitting smoking, I find it amazing.

14,600 is my new record.

I'm averaging around 6000-7000 per go now but struggle at that point. Must have got lucky with the 10,000+ score. Someone at work has completed it, said there's a technique to it. I'm being a good boy and asked him to keep it to himself. I've got 4 colleagues now whose lunch hour is being ruined by this game .

BBC headline exactly the same 24 hours later, 300 still unaccounted for. Have they not found anyone? Sad news.

Well done Bale. God he's rapid.

Intertoto