RenFengge

2/6/2021 Workout Squat Workshop Box squats in descending ladder by 2 from 12 (12 rep, 10 rep, 8 rep, etc.) with increasing weight until 1 rep max. With a 1-second pause on the box. Thoughts: Never did box squats before. Super interesting to get to 335lbs on the bar. Also, thoroughly amused that somehow my lifting is causing a ruckus. The workshop is meant for only 4 people at a time. I'm assigned to Saturdays. Works better for my schedule. Today, we had 7 people show up, which included me. The extra 3 people were all "I didn't know we weren't allowed to switch days. I saw the video of La lifting 225lbs, and had to see it myself." Oh, you poor souls. You haven't had real lifters or HIIT athletes here, I guess. The weightlifting coach was a bit pissed because we ended up breaking some distancing rules to accommodate the extra people. My back muscles are not used to going this heavy. Legs are perfectly fine, but keeping form, keeping my back where it needs to be at this weight? Whew. Honestly, I didn't think I would reach 300lbs. But Tim kept throwing more weight on. When we got to 335lbs, the question was "should we put more on? Like another 10lbs total?" I said, "Um. No. Let's just call 335lbs my 1 rep max for this movement." Tim started asking me so many questions after the session.. Like what can I really deadlift... what can I really back squat... I made it very clear to him that my PR is 260lbs back squat with 265lbs deadlift. But, I also know that I have a weak core and will hit 300lbs on that once I get my core situation fixed. Also, yesterday was a high-carb day, so I went into today's session more "fueled" I guess. I'm still juggling in my brain what I'm eating. I'm trying not to kill myself with strictness. We'll see the damage on Monday.

Getting out of "the hole" is the most difficult part! Glad you were able to safely dump the bar.

2/4/2021 Workout 5 Rounds: 20 Box Jumps 15 Supermans with 1 second hold 10 Jack Knives 10 Pike Push Ups Thoughts: Things I tend to enjoy - classic HIIT workouts. I also really love box jumps. However, I really hate doing box jumps on stacked plates and not a real box. Why? Because the top plate will shift, then I lose footing. So, I can't go as fast as I want and properly lock out at top. Also, my age is showing lol. Need to fix that. Averaged 3 minutes a round. Not terrible. I got scaled to pike push ups because I can't do handstand push-ups... and I generally hate wall walks. The pike push up scales make so much more sense to me. I think when I do my 1 workout at home a week, I will add it to my list. At one of the gyms, we used to have 1 day a week dedicated to things we wanted to work on... this is unintentionally happening for me lol. So, I'm also taking a small mental break from the weigh-ins. I usually do my weekly weigh in on Fridays or Saturdays. I might push it out until Sunday. I'm trying to put it all in perspective that getting to the final goal weight was something I never struggled with in a shorter amount of time. The only difference between then and now is 1) weekly weigh-ins and 2) I'm not doing a super strict Whole30. I'll remove the heavy cream fat bombs once I'm done with the heavy cream we have and switch it to coconut cream. There was a pretty tasty and easy dessert I made once which involve whipped coconut cream and fresh cherries that were blanched. I might lean into that. Also, I do generally like myself. My quads are getting defined even more. But, I rarely hold fat there to begin with. My arms are getting more defined. I'm leaning out. My issue has always been trying to lean out my core, which makes sense since it has always been the weakest part of me. Today, I'm debating on doing a workout at home. I want to be fresh for tomorrow's squat workshop, so it might just be a full cardio session on the rower... we'll see.

Soooo.. no lifting happened? Lolol. People are spotting you when you lift heavy, right?

Tracking food tends to really screw me up mentally. Counting every calorie and every gram of macro leads to me cutting even more calories to a dangerous level. Because if I don't hit a certain weight loss per week as defined by what I calculated to be my deficit, I will cut more and have been known to go as low as 300 cals a day or fewer then just tell people I'm on a long term fast. I am only mentally keeping track of carb intake, typically staying under 50g per day. Going only as high as 150g on "high carb" days. I'm treading a very fine line currently to make weekly weigh ins that are acceptable to me while not cutting out dairy, sugar, and grains out 100% but keeping them at the bare minimum. (I could just suck it up and do a Whole30... If my dessert dairy fat bombs kill me, then I'll end up at Whole30 with dairy and sugar completely out.) Month 1 and 2 are the biggest weight loss expectations in this DietBet with the expectation of losing 1lb to 1.5lbs a week for me. Month 3 and 4 are only 2lbs per month. With Month 5 and 6 being maintenance. Honestly, if I had my way in terms of what I need at home, I would have a body comp machine at home that would give me my body comp once a month to track fat and muscle (in the end, I'm just wanting to get to a 23% body fat, which would be down from my current 31%). Then an LED bed for recovery. Then a monthly massage. Lol. But that's all $$$.

Is it just your Sony account? Or Bungie account too??? Sony can't make it right for you?

2/3/2021 Workout 1000m Tabata Row THEN 5x5 Deadlifts @ 145lbs Thoughts: First, I made weight... by the skin of my teeth. Body weight fluctuations are such a mental mind f*ck. 3 days before weigh in, I was safely 1.5lbs below goal. 1 day before weigh-in, I was over by .6lb. day of.... exactly at weight. Anyway, officially down 6.5lbs since January 1. Now comes the real work. I wanted to go to the gym this morning, but the snow put a damper on that. By the time our driveway was cleared out last night, I was not in the mental space to wake up at 4:30AM to go to a 5AM gym session. So, I told myself I would work out at home before my first meal and before my fat bomb. Workout was good. Relatively difficult to keep at the pace I wanted in the state I'm in. At 9AM, my body is looking for fuel. It's why 5AM workouts work for me currently. My main focus for today was grip strength. Hence the 1000m row and deadlifts. Never got to do them last week. So, did them today. Food wise... I'm going back and forth in my head on how I'm going to do this. The weekly weigh-ins are a mental burden. Without them, I would probably go ham on high protein, low carb, eat until I'm satiated and throw all care to the wind regarding deficits. Knowing I need to weigh-in, that's a speed bump... and a slippery slope. We'll see. The 4th, 5th, and 6th months of this will be easier as the weight goals are less intense. I'm not looking for a 1 pound loss per week in the later months. I'm also saying this after I mouthed 3 tablespoons of crunchy peanut butter with a few chocolate chips lol after my salmon avocado toast lunch. I love food. I guess, for now, I'll be mindful of portion sizes and be slightly more relaxed on the weekends for a mental break.

I think the point is for BioWare to get some love from BioWare fans wondering wtf happened to them. Seeing them remaster the Mass Effect trilogy is interesting to me for a host of reasons. 1) I played Dragon Age first before Mass Effect. The difference in graphics is astounding between the games. I wondered why Dragon Age had shitty graphics. Then I realized BioWare was more concerned with Mass Effect visuals. 2) One of the absolute frustrating things for me on playing the Mass Effect trilogy on my computer was the wonky bugs that broke numerous save files for me when approaching certain scenarios. It was infuriating to lose basically 3 hours of gameplay because you couldn't just go back to a save to salvage from the bug, you had to go back to before the mission. I look forward to a clean playthrough on the new PC that is coming for me. 3) I want other people to experience this. @TurboR56Mini is now a much more experienced gamer than when I first tried to get him into Mass Effect. Does he like actual single player games? No. He's a multiplayer gamer through and through and probably really only that. But, my hope is that because I have also gotten him into sci-fi and space opera stuff, maybe he'll enjoy it now. Maybe he'll get through the first, love the second, and get feels during the final parts of the third game. 4) I am so absolutely tired of garbage games that are passing as decent single player games. Maybe this will remind people what great storytelling can be like... so I don't have to wait for gemstone studios like Guerilla or Bend to Sucker Punch to release some actually engrossing. The Mass Effect trilogy is amazing. I'm glad I played it after they fixed the ending. I don't think the mechanics of the first one were terrible, but then again, I'm an RPGer. I found the mechanics of 2 to be limiting but fun. I don't remember what the mechanics of 3 were. It's been a couple of years. Andromeda needed more time. But the development on Andromeda was as turbulent as Anthem. Like I've said, EA basically kills every studio they touch. Casey Hudson left again for a reason. If Casey saw nothing to salvage, this is a semi-decent swan song of BioWare doing a "greatest hits" thing.

I'm debating on waiting to see what the Google/Fitbit acquisition produces in terms of new trackers. I legit don't really care that Google holds all my information... and, at this point, everything I do is a conscious decision to let Google essentially be the main place for my data. If, let's say, a decent amount of people here are on Garmin, I might make the switch. Mentally, I try to approach my fitness more like a game. I need to level myself up to be able to do things I want to do. Throwing in various challenges with people I actually am somewhat invested in might make it even more worthwhile.

1/30/2021 Workout Squat Workshop Movement: Front Squats --> 3 seconds down, 3 seconds hold "in the hole", up as quickly as you can. Sets of 3. Add weight until it becomes a set of 1. Thoughts: So, I haven't really front squatted in years... and when I have, it was just doing the movement and not doing anything at a certain tempo. I knew that hold at the bottom was going to kill me lol. It did. My 1 rep weight for this was 185lbs. Surprisingly for me, it wasn't the weight that killed me. It was my wrists being fatigued! I couldn't hold the bar in rack position any longer. This is a very new thing for me. So, I guess I really need to work on my wrist strength? Looks like as I put in my squats at home with dead hangs to finish is a good idea. Both coaches were there today. Plus a different set of people aside from Sally, who I guess is now becoming a gym buddy as we suffer together lol. Other people wanted to see me squat? I didn't think it was that odd for a woman to be squatting the amount I can. But, then again, the HIIT community in my region is weird an atypical of the rest of the US. Not bad for today's workout. I only did 3 workouts this week because I wanted to rest my body for recovery and see how it will affect the scale when I do my official weigh-in on Monday or Tuesday. Aside from the few bites of cinnamon roll French toast off of husband's plate and basically half a naan with my Indian food last night, I think I should be okay. But, you never know. And, I'm not going to stress it. Woo-sa... I might do a quick 1000m row tonight and some deadlifts to balance out the sugar and extra carbs that put me out of "keto". Easier to slip back into keto if I workout in the evening before dinner.

@GazzaGarratt- shakes are super tricky. Like, the amount of research I did to find a handful of ones with quality... that was massive. But, I found them. I don't use a lot of shakes, but I have them if I need them. I'm of the mind that real food will always be infinitely better for you than anything processed. Are you allergic to some veggies? Which ones? I'm allergic/sensitive to basically all raw fruits and veggies lol. Everything has to be cooked for me.

1/27/2021 Workout 12 minute Every Minute on the Minute (EMOM) 4 hang power snatches @ 45lbs 8 front squats @ 65lbs Thoughts: There I was... just chilling in my square... about to do the workout using only the 45lb bar. And, Coach James walks over and says, "So, you going to put weight on that?" Me: "You're funny. No. This is cardio. This is not 'working on my strength' type of workout." James: "Yeah... but we now have video of you doing 225lbs back squat." Me: "Snatches are not squats... and this is an EMOM. My goal is to survive! I'm just trying to survive." Shale (our strongest member): "We need shirts that say that. 'Trying to survive'" James: How about two different weights. Just the bar for the snatches, but 65lbs for the front squats." Me: "Not sure I have a say in the matter, but it's a better compromise than what I was thinking." I love HIIT. Don't get me wrong. I specifically do it as an attempt to increase my work capacity and not die on the floor gasping for air if I need to sprint for my life. I just like to consider myself realistic when it comes to weights, form, and EMOMs. I don't like EMOMs with more than 10 reps total of anything. Eventually, there's no time to "rest". I also like to not have a fucked up form when I do lifting movements. No, 45lbs is not heavy enough for me to be in perfect form for a power snatch. But, 45lbs is heavy enough for me to survive 12 minutes. Perfect form weight for a snatch for me is like 85lbs. Just heavy enough for me to make sure I engage the right muscles at the right time to do the lift. It was a tough workout. Everyone struggled with it. Everyone said it was much harder than anticipated lol. Still a great workout. Other thoughts... I'm trying really hard to not spiral regarding my weight. This is a problem for me. I have spiraled before, and that led to anorexia. However, difference between then and now is that 1) I actually really enjoy food now and 2) this isn't about me fitting into certain clothes for high school... my desire to lift better means I have to eat properly and not think 400 calories a day is a good thing. Also, keto life. I won't make month #1 goal. But, I know that sticking to my usual keto-paleo life means I'll make weight for the overall goal and then some.

I'm quite tired of COVID, but I'm not tired of never seeing the office and never commuting currently lol. I legit just want to grab a lunch with a friend or have a friend hang out at the house without needing to microban the whole place before and after. The vaccine will do what it needs to do, but yeah, it won't fix everything. I'll be honest that I have been living my life pretty normally lately... just with a mask, gloves, face shield when needed, and a sterilizer at home. Personally, if where I live doesn't take a step backwards by closing restaurants and other things again, I think we'll survive... Where do we go from here? I dunno... maybe a post-COVID world like how my home city is living now... or maybe in the direction of what the Fallout universe is like lol.

Lots of people here in the US already buy their fruit and veg from Amazon ever since they acquired Whole Foods, which is a somewhat upscale-looking store. (TBH, people who complained that Whole Foods was more expensive actually never checked a lot of prices. They were already on par with regular stores if you compared brand to brand and item to item. It's just not a touch cheaper with Amazon incentives. It's effectively cheaper for me to buy fruit and veg from Whole Foods than a "regular" supermarket now.) RE: COVID in general I'm in the thick of it in terms of my company working with local hospitals and our own "members... we have people working with not only the city and state government but also federal regarding vaccines. A lot of this "mess" in regards to hospitalizations and deaths could have been avoided if people weren't fed mis-information and go about thinking it's a hoax and that masks infringes on their freedom or whatever. I see the data every day. We do comparisons almost every day against year/quarter/month and pre-COVID. This isn't a joke. This is very much real. And, lack of true leadership during the start of the pandemic is one of the causes for the high amount of cases and deaths.

So, eat the protein that my body is craving for recovery... continue on my "cutting"/"shredding" phase... and not stress on the timed goals? Sometimes, I just need other people to tell me that lol.