RenFengge

I knew I would eventually need to replace my Fitbit. So, I spent some time looking at a whole bunch of alternatives. Almost got the Whoop. But, there are aspects within Fitbit that kept me coming back. And, Whoop has a steep monthly membership. So, yesterday, being a touch more salty than normal, @TurboR56Mini asked me why. I said it was because I didn't sleep well out of fear of missing my gym class since the replacement Fitbit (originally his) broke. I use the alarm on the Fitbit to avoid waking Carl up at 4:30AM when I get up for the gym. He decided that enough of me procrastinating and also lack of proper alarm affecting my sleep, he just went and bought me a new Fitbit. I actually didn't want a smartwatch at all. But, this has a few more sensors that I would like to have, like the EKG and the O2.

Sooo.. this is what Project Athia was. Color me intrigued.

I have been going back and forth on what I really want when it comes to the outdoor kitchen (whenever we finally get to do it). For the longest time, I wanted a big green egg. Would love to properly smoke delicious things. Glad you are loving your Kamado! What a treat! I think all I really want to smoke is brisket.. all the time. Hahaha.

Don't hold your breath. It's a fluff piece... and full of lies they told in hopes to appease the masses.

3/17/2021 Workout Power Snatch - Descending Ladder by 2, Start at 14 Reps - Add Weight at Each Set (35lbs --> 95lbs) Bonus: 3 Rounds: 100 Single Unders 10 Sit ups Thoughts: So, last "real" time I did power snatches was not in the workout done a few weeks ago, but like probably 8 years ago... And, it was tough. And, I was so upset with only getting up to 115lbs. But, again, I need to work on upper body strength. Catching and holding that bar is the challenge for me. When I got down to the 4 rep set, my coach was eyeballing the weights and said, "75lbs? Really?" I said, "There's a method to my madness. Don't worry, I'll throw on another 10lbs for the 2 rep set." Did it. Did the 2 reps at 85lbs. Only for Coach James to go, "That was too easy. Let's just put on another 10. To make me feel better." I said, "Board said last set was 2 reps. What is this?" He said, "This is what you pay us for. To push you." Me, "Yet you know I'm going to do a quick cardio workout afterwards." Him, "That's cardio with no upper body. You'll be fine." 95lbs... that was a bit terrible. But still done. The bonus workout was just because I woke up this morning in a mood to do jump rope. So, yeah. Simple. Quick. A little core. Now, regarding food. I'm like sitting on the edge where I get a little sad if I can't easily feel some of my rib and hip bones... if I don't feel hollow in the morning. This is a struggle. This is me being honest. I like being able to feel them. I like feeling empty. And, I don't think it's a normal thing. But, I'm dealing. Still eating a decent amount. But, it's a fine line for me. And, I'm going to start this morning not really in a fast, but with a fun concoction of espresso, matcha, whey protein, MCT oil, and coconut oil... with a little vanilla. Did you know this was a thing now? I find it hilarious. I've been doing protein coffees since 2012... and now it's a thing.

My only thought is that this is a confusing purchase if it even happens. Are those studios even worth it these days? Or, do they intend to resurrect some of the games?

3/15/2021 Workout 3 Rounds: 30 Hang Cleans (55lbs) 15 Ring Rows 30 Heavy KB American Swings (44lbs) Then TABATA Push Ups for 8 rounds. Thoughts: This is where we're at, I guess. I need to focus on my food for better recovery now. I cannot still be this sore 2 days after a workout, and I cannot be this hungry all the time like I have been lately. Plus, allergy season is coming. Now, the question is... how can I mentally shift gears and cycle off of Intermittent Fasting without upsetting the balance I have recently fought for? Or, do I keep to it and just do a fat bomb in the morning, shake for lunch with all the goodies, then a solid dinner? My former routine used to be a shake in the morning, normal lunch, amazing dinner (or shake dependent on when we would finally get home from work). Anyway. Walked into the gym this morning and joked, "So, is the goal of today's workout to make sure we have no shoulder strength for the rest of the day?" Coach Liz laughed. I mean, I guess perfectly fine considering my lower body is sore from Saturday's fun. And, I really need to work on upper body anyway. I went to my box and said. "Soooo... there's a 53lb kettle bell and a 44lb kettle bell... Mind if I get a 35lb?" Stares... Just stares. Lol. When it comes to kettlebells, I have a fear of losing grip and it crashing on my head if we do overhead swings. It's why I prefer Russian swings if we're going heavy. Not that I would actually choose a 44lb kettlebell either way, but still lol. This workout was... tough. Because I didn't want it to hit 25 minutes. I was still the last to finish, but not by too much. I think it was a minute more than everyone else. The swings were the toughest. I have no clue what the thinking was in the development of this workout. I was scaled to ring rows instead of pull-ups. Like, it's just a lot on grip and upper body... for a long time! Obviously, there's some core and glute work in the cleans and swings... it's all still terrible lol. However, nothing like pushing through the last 10 reps on the swings while people are cheering you on. Semi-shameful, but a good push. Tabata push ups were next... and hahaha... no one did them proper. Everyone scaled to knees. No one had the strength left to do them. All in all. Good times!

Lolz. I'm sure there were competitions at least in your day! I participated in a few as a kid... so there had to be some for you! And, what are scholarships except free money that's tagged for a specific use? My thinking is that if we're going to give athletic scholarships for a talent that basically has a time limit, why not for eSports? eSports talent has just as much of a time limit like playing basketball. Once you're past a certain age, it doesn't matter. You're never going to hit those buttons/keys as quickly as you did when you were 16/17/18/etc. If these scholarships give more people an opportunity to get a good/great education that they probably couldn't get otherwise due to circumstances, then let universities throw money at them. "Many opt against playing in this space" --> True. Have you wondered why? There is a difference between having some control in the content created and dealing with trash online while being in your own room than having to do that in a set space with teammates and in a public arena. Have you wondered how many of those highly competent women would be part of an eTeam if they could just do it all from their own setup at home? "Endless male talent coming through" --> just because their focus is on one area doesn't mean that it isn't there in a different area. Just because I'm out in an apple orchard in the north east end of it picking my bushel of apples doesn't me the south west end of the orchard doesn't have apples. It's a choice. A biased choice in where the talent comes from... or where they choose to see where it is. And what did these few women pro-gamers do to "turn off" viewers? Were they not pretty enough? Not in a low cut top? The lighting didn't jive with their makeup? Or, was it the alternative? They were and then weren't taken seriously? What is the happy medium for a women to play in eSports competitions where they could be taken seriously? Do we want to shit on those few pro-gamer women who are trying to forge that path for others to follow? For not knowing how to balance what societal expectations are when it comes to negotiating and getting what they want? Because it's expected for men to be "better negotiators" for money, but if a woman dares to do anything but accept what is offered, we are considered "difficult" and "bitchy"? I love women's MMA. It's 100% pure talent and no one gives a shit on your makeup or boob size. It's partially why things like CrossFit, weightlifting, and combat martial arts are my other safe places aside from video gaming at home.

3/13/2021 Workout (Part 2? Active Rest?) Cinco Teros Eskrima (90 Minute Session) Those curious --> Cinco Teros - FMA Pulse FMAPULSE.COM Cinco Teros ("Five Strikes") refers to the five most basic strikes in eskrima, which is a class of Filipino martial arts that emphasizes staff and sword fighting. The art is composed of the four basic cuts and... What I'm trained in --> BALINTAWAK ESKRIMA - FMA Pulse FMAPULSE.COM The Chronicles of Balintawak At about the start of the American regime, the Cañete siblings began their training in Eskrima. Brothers Florentino and Eulogio Cañete (later to become the principal organizer and... Thoughts: I wasn't fully intending to participate in the session. I really just wanted to ask questions and see the style. I ended up participating. Cinco Teros may be my third style of eskrima to learn. It is not my favorite. There is a practicality and method of learning in Balintawak that jives better with me. In Balintawak, we do not care what "Strike" is happening. We only care about ending the fight as quickly as possible. If that means disarming, that's preferred. If that means doing a finishing blow to make sure you never get up, okie doke. If that means maiming you because you don't know when to stay down, fine. If that means doing a killing blow (neck breaking, stabbing with gash and/or twisting, slicing an artery, etc), well, it had to be done. There is no memorization in learning. Yes, we have drills, but it's not really "memorizing". It's creating reactions. So, anyway, I went to the park to go check it out. Cinco Teros is a style from Bagio. Bagio is in the northern area of the Philippines. This particular style is very much a family style that isn't advertised or really taught. You have to have permission from the family to teach it. The one thing I really like about Cinco Teros is that after you learn the basics, you're expected to evolve the style into what works for you. This is also more sword and knife based. All Eskrima/Arnis is meant to transition from sticks to knives to hands, but various styles will lend more to sticks or knives or hands. The overall thinking of this type of combat martial arts is that you are to be able to defend yourself using anything or nothing. This is why we do not have "uniforms". This is why I specifically trained with no padding or gear. You need to know how to take a hit if you're going to survive a real fight. The sooner you get used to that pain and learn how to avoid it, the better your chances on the street. For 90 minutes in the park yesterday, I did some drills. Clumsily. But I did them. The teaching is not where I want it to be. But, my thinking is that at least I would be learning and keeping up with something. Plus, knowing another Filipino in the area would be nice. Just because I want home food! Also, the other students... I'm merely curious on who they are. As terrible as it sounds, I want to know who are these non-Filipinos learning my country's combat systems. I hate Katas. I hate memorization. But, I will end up doing them with this teacher. I have loved seeing Filipino Martial Arts used more and more in TV (Arrow and the Arrowverse heavily use FMA) and movies (Christopher Nolan's Batman for hand-to-hand, Star Wars Yoda/Dooku). Learning any aspect of it, whether or not I really enjoy it, is still a bonus in my book.

Love data visualization for... basically anything.

There's a lot of truth in this. One that I have had extensive conversations about with my friends in our make-shift support group that started in November 2016. Because once you got past the anger and the overall shallowness of disagreements, what's really the issue? One word. Capitalism. A much better explanation, Abundance Mindset vs Scarcity Mindset. Some of my best days working was while I worked at a hedge fund. My position being vastly different than others. But, while my own boss was very much a terrible human being to me, his other assistants that I managed, and his family, to the point that I drank often to cope, I also knew how to separate that from how the company was actually ran. What does that mean? That means that we, as a company, had a credence of "sharing the pie". The profits in what we traded were always distributed to the employees. We never wanted someone to worry about making ends meet (on the flip side of that was that if an employee was not worrying about bills, then that employee would work more efficiently). Someone got cancer - sure as sh*t we made sure they got the best treatment available in NYC, and we would cover it even if our top tier health insurance wouldn't. Someone's spouse got laid off - we'll look at either advancing a bonus or just giving a discretionary bonus. An employee technically isn't allowed to invest in our own funds based on rules? We'll look into setting up a sort of LLC to do so on that group of employees' behalf. I worked at a hedge fund that was vastly different from the rest. And, it was amazing to see what a working culture was like if people weren't 1) afraid for their jobs, 2) well-compensated (all the way down to our cleaning people), and 3) actually happy (lol. not me, but my position was different; and really, no one should be locking up their assistant in a 90F/32C corner office for hours) We all had a common goal aside from making gobs of money, and that was to make the world a better place by using our profits to fund R&D into orphan diseases and whatnot. To advance medicine. To get better healthcare out there. We collectively worked hard and ungodly hours because our collective needs were met. We respected each other as people (again, not between me and my boss due to position) because we didn't think we were competing against each other. If someone needed help, we helped. If someone needed to be taken down a peg because they were being terrible (again, not my boss), they were. Capitalism, in general, exacerbates the Scarcity Mindset that lead people to being afraid and scared and angry. People see someone else as winning means that they themselves are losing something, when that isn't the case. Regarding the article I posted, I want there to be less of a gender gap when it comes to these things. But the inherent bias makes it difficult. And, the guys getting those scholarships and jobs feel entitled to them. If, let's say, 5 people are up for a spot with a scholarship and 1 of those 5 is a woman, if the woman gets it, the rest will not say that it is because she was actually better than them in gameplay. The rest of them will say, "Oh, there's that equality/PC bullshit again. I'm better but because she's a woman, she gets the spot." This is also not to say that I think diversity hires/picks are a great thing. I think people who are best qualified for the position should get it. I understand the importance of a diversity hire/pick. But, it is far from easy to think that it's the solution to disparity in the workplace.

Zero part of me is sad about this. Zero lol. I have always considered Bethesda to be better on PC... Also, nothing they release lately is not a "must have". I have a PC. I have a PS5. I'm good lol. I would be super shocked if Square allowed themselves to be acquired by Sony. Their history lends them towards "partnerships" and not wanting to be dictated by Nintendo, Sony, or whoever else. But, it's a new era, so anything is possible.

Wait. What? That sounds bonkers. I just want to feel safe going out at night by myself without fear of getting kidnapped, assaulted, killed, etc. Not infringe on people's freedom lol. However, my basic understanding is that she was trying to make a point and wasn't serious about the suggestion. And, her point being that society typically tells women to stay home if they want to be safe and no one blinks an eye at that. But, the moment such suggestions are made for men, it's just a crazy thought.

3/13/2021 Workout Squat Workshop 15-minute time under tension at 50% 1 rep max (115lbs) Thoughts: So, Coach Tim is on vacation... and he left Coach James in charge of the lifting stuff. I was not prepared for a semi-cardio workout. He allowed us 1-minute rests before we had to get back under the bar. We were to do a semi-slow squat until we started losing form. Not until failure. Until we were "uncomfortable." I joked and said, "soooo.. like 2 reps, right?" Knowing that we were going to be doing high-reps, I adjusted my depth to only slightly below parallel. Lost count after 55-ish reps. My legs are toast. But, I'm still gonna go check out some Eskrima/Arnis/Kali in about an hour. 😆

Lol. I do.. If I didn't, I wouldn't be so chit chatty. 😅

For those who read the original post and say, "Well, look at us? We don't really have active women gamers in our group." No, we don't. And, I hope to change that. But, it took a lot for me to say "F*ck it. Let's actually join in the fun here. Maybe they live up to their own expectations that they aren't the typical toxic guys in the gaming world that have generally kept me from even opening my mouth and actually made me change my PSN handle." Women make up for almost half the gamers in the world. Women are the ones who used to be the majority in creating and coding. But, you will rarely see a woman in a serious aspect of gaming. And, if a woman, in general, wants to succeed in streaming, let's just say skills with a makeup brush and how low-cut of a top can be worn are more important than actual coordination with a controller or k/m. I do not take myself seriously in gaming competitions or group play. Could I grind D2 as much as my husband and my friends? Sure. But, you also have no clue how much mental effort it took for me to be okay with the multiplayer aspect of the game and be willing to subject myself to potential online harassment. They talk about the fun in the salty messages they get after a Crucible match. But, do they know the flood of sexist messages I would get if I left my handle the same? If I even dared to speak on team comms if it wasn't with people I knew? I can't imagine how many pissed off players were created when I would run around Crucible with Drang and Rat King... only for them to be all "Did I just get killed by a female warlock?"... then to double check my profile and wonder "maybe it's a guy just playing that. It has to be a guy." The sexual harassment I experienced in my teens and 20's... I could not take it if it leaked into my gaming world sanctuary. So, my handle is changed. My profile is private. You can't friend me unless you are someone I know (or know someone who is already my friend). You can't message me either. And, I will not talk on comms if I don't know you. I will help you. But I will not talk, as I do not need my gender getting in the way of me helping you.

This is a touchy subject for me. (So, fair warning) It was Women's International Day on Monday. The topic of sexual harassment and assault has been one of the prevalent discussions happening everywhere, and I, for one, am highly amused at the saltiness from men, in general, about it. Fun fact about me. I am in a way proud of my profession as an Executive Assistant (because rich and powerful people can't seem to find a f*cking elevator button unless you explicitly tell them or how to cross a street or how time works in general). But, it is one of those things that angers me to no end. My conversations that I have with my teammates when it isn't about getting something done, it's about how that even though we do at least half the work of our C-level Executives who "run the world", we are no more than indentured servants who were generally hired for how pretty we look in f*cking skirt. Our actual skills are just a bonus. My conversations with them tend to land on "imagine if we weren't women and what we would actually be doing instead?" Then, it's usually, "Now, imagine if we weren't a person of color and weren't a woman?" Do you know how many women end up in my profession straight out of college/university because no one actually knows that a young, 20-something female can actually be something else besides an assistant? For every woman who is able to avoid a company defaulting her into an assistant person, there are probably at least 20 women who tried and ended up an assistant. (I, however, always enjoyed the thought of being the level of assistant I am because 1) general work life balance, 2) I consider it a very well paid forever internship where I learn everything about how a company works, 3) the insane connections and stories that come with the job) Regarding Sexual Harassment and Violence, I leave these here (there is a reason why I train combat martial arts and not sport. It being fun is only part of it): And one more because this hits super close to home... and I can't believe that 20 years later, I'm still angry. https://www.instagram.com/p/CMUorwmrvgZ/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

I'ma gonna leave this here. AP study: Nearly 90% of esports scholarships going to men APNEWS.COM Colleges and universities rushing to invest in the booming arena of varsity esports are overwhelmingly committing opportunities and scholarships to male players, according to data collected by The...