uberwarrior

I'm not going to pull any punches here, so I'll apologise in advance if I put a nose or two out of joint.
 
In my past I have lost several people extremely close to me, the hardest one to deal with was the passing of my first wife to cancer when she was at the tender age of 31.
 
She used to get so angry at people even contemplating suicide, seeing as she was literally fighting for her life during a long and protracted illness. She DIDN'T want to die, but to live and grow old. See her daughters grow up and do all the things that most of us take for granted.
 
I have the same philosophy on life. Depression is difficult to overcome I fully understand that, I've been there myself. Ultimately, the individual is the only person that can actually make the choice to get themselves out of that rut. I just wish people would see past the bad things that they perceive to be taking over their lives and look at all the good that is around them. You get to wake up every morning with your physical health very much in tact. You do not have the very black cloud of terminal illness hanging over you. You have a full life to look forwards to, LIVE IT!!
 
The only time that I think suicide is justified is if illness or impairment are so bad, that you cannot function in any way as the person you were. I watched my step father go through all the awful processes of motor neurons disease, which completely takes away every aspect of your bodies functionality, even to the point of breathing on your own. He suffered beyond what I could possibly imagine and I watched the life literally drain out of him.
 
I am so thankful to have the gift of life and health, we ALL should be. There are so many people in the world who simply survive on a day to day basis. We, in the Western world don't have a clue how that must be, yet we over complicate our lives to such an extent that we can't see the wood for the trees.
 
I truly wish that people would take a leaf out of Mike's book. He has more to deal with on a daily basis than many of us would see in a lifetime and yet always seems to look on the brighter side of life.
 
We all have bad days, granted. BUT that is all it should be, a bad DAY!
 
We have one shot at this life and we are lucky to live where we do. I have seen poverty and hardship when I travel for work, and I am always thankful that my life by comparison is so much easier.

I know it sounds like a cliche, but you can never move forward if you are looking back to the past. I totally understand your depression and thoughts of "why go on?" I had those problems myself back in my 20's, but truth be told I made a lot of my own problems for myself. I don;t want to oversimplify this, but to put it as plain as I can, you simply need to be happy about yourself and other things will fall into place.
 
Far as the thoughts of death. It depends on what way you are thinking about that. If you mean your just thinking about mortality, then that's normal we all do that. Now that I'm in my 40's I think about my own mortality more now then I ever did, especially since my dad died when he was only 52 yrs old. I have the same genes so that worries me. If your thinking suicidal thoughts then that is different, you really should try to talk to someone in person about those thoughts if they are at all serious or often. Because that's a serious thing there and you don't want to let that happen again.
 
Life is short man, 70-80 yrs is nothing but a blip on the radar of eternity, so don't waste your limited time here feeling sorry for yourself or wondering why you are here. We're all here to simply enjoy the gift of life that we were given so make the most of it because once it's over there is no hitting restart.
 
Glad to hear you are feeling better today though for sure!

I'm not going to pull any punches here, so I'll apologise in advance if I put a nose or two out of joint.
 
In my past I have lost several people extremely close to me, the hardest one to deal with was the passing of my first wife to cancer when she was at the tender age of 31.
 
She used to get so angry at people even contemplating suicide, seeing as she was literally fighting for her life during a long and protracted illness. She DIDN'T want to die, but to live and grow old. See her daughters grow up and do all the things that most of us take for granted.
 
I have the same philosophy on life. Depression is difficult to overcome I fully understand that, I've been there myself. Ultimately, the individual is the only person that can actually make the choice to get themselves out of that rut. I just wish people would see past the bad things that they perceive to be taking over their lives and look at all the good that is around them. You get to wake up every morning with your physical health very much in tact. You do not have the very black cloud of terminal illness hanging over you. You have a full life to look forwards to, LIVE IT!!
 
The only time that I think suicide is justified is if illness or impairment are so bad, that you cannot function in any way as the person you were. I watched my step father go through all the awful processes of motor neurons disease, which completely takes away every aspect of your bodies functionality, even to the point of breathing on your own. He suffered beyond what I could possibly imagine and I watched the life literally drain out of him.
 
I am so thankful to have the gift of life and health, we ALL should be. There are so many people in the world who simply survive on a day to day basis. We, in the Western world don't have a clue how that must be, yet we over complicate our lives to such an extent that we can't see the wood for the trees.
 
I truly wish that people would take a leaf out of Mike's book. He has more to deal with on a daily basis than many of us would see in a lifetime and yet always seems to look on the brighter side of life.
 
We all have bad days, granted. BUT that is all it should be, a bad DAY!
 
We have one shot at this life and we are lucky to live where we do. I have seen poverty and hardship when I travel for work, and I am always thankful that my life by comparison is so much easier.

I'm not going to pull any punches here, so I'll apologise in advance if I put a nose or two out of joint.
 
In my past I have lost several people extremely close to me, the hardest one to deal with was the passing of my first wife to cancer when she was at the tender age of 31.
 
She used to get so angry at people even contemplating suicide, seeing as she was literally fighting for her life during a long and protracted illness. She DIDN'T want to die, but to live and grow old. See her daughters grow up and do all the things that most of us take for granted.
 
I have the same philosophy on life. Depression is difficult to overcome I fully understand that, I've been there myself. Ultimately, the individual is the only person that can actually make the choice to get themselves out of that rut. I just wish people would see past the bad things that they perceive to be taking over their lives and look at all the good that is around them. You get to wake up every morning with your physical health very much in tact. You do not have the very black cloud of terminal illness hanging over you. You have a full life to look forwards to, LIVE IT!!
 
The only time that I think suicide is justified is if illness or impairment are so bad, that you cannot function in any way as the person you were. I watched my step father go through all the awful processes of motor neurons disease, which completely takes away every aspect of your bodies functionality, even to the point of breathing on your own. He suffered beyond what I could possibly imagine and I watched the life literally drain out of him.
 
I am so thankful to have the gift of life and health, we ALL should be. There are so many people in the world who simply survive on a day to day basis. We, in the Western world don't have a clue how that must be, yet we over complicate our lives to such an extent that we can't see the wood for the trees.
 
I truly wish that people would take a leaf out of Mike's book. He has more to deal with on a daily basis than many of us would see in a lifetime and yet always seems to look on the brighter side of life.
 
We all have bad days, granted. BUT that is all it should be, a bad DAY!
 
We have one shot at this life and we are lucky to live where we do. I have seen poverty and hardship when I travel for work, and I am always thankful that my life by comparison is so much easier.

I'm not going to pull any punches here, so I'll apologise in advance if I put a nose or two out of joint.
 
In my past I have lost several people extremely close to me, the hardest one to deal with was the passing of my first wife to cancer when she was at the tender age of 31.
 
She used to get so angry at people even contemplating suicide, seeing as she was literally fighting for her life during a long and protracted illness. She DIDN'T want to die, but to live and grow old. See her daughters grow up and do all the things that most of us take for granted.
 
I have the same philosophy on life. Depression is difficult to overcome I fully understand that, I've been there myself. Ultimately, the individual is the only person that can actually make the choice to get themselves out of that rut. I just wish people would see past the bad things that they perceive to be taking over their lives and look at all the good that is around them. You get to wake up every morning with your physical health very much in tact. You do not have the very black cloud of terminal illness hanging over you. You have a full life to look forwards to, LIVE IT!!
 
The only time that I think suicide is justified is if illness or impairment are so bad, that you cannot function in any way as the person you were. I watched my step father go through all the awful processes of motor neurons disease, which completely takes away every aspect of your bodies functionality, even to the point of breathing on your own. He suffered beyond what I could possibly imagine and I watched the life literally drain out of him.
 
I am so thankful to have the gift of life and health, we ALL should be. There are so many people in the world who simply survive on a day to day basis. We, in the Western world don't have a clue how that must be, yet we over complicate our lives to such an extent that we can't see the wood for the trees.
 
I truly wish that people would take a leaf out of Mike's book. He has more to deal with on a daily basis than many of us would see in a lifetime and yet always seems to look on the brighter side of life.
 
We all have bad days, granted. BUT that is all it should be, a bad DAY!
 
We have one shot at this life and we are lucky to live where we do. I have seen poverty and hardship when I travel for work, and I am always thankful that my life by comparison is so much easier.

It was, but she left me with 2 beautiful gifts. My daughters

I'm not going to pull any punches here, so I'll apologise in advance if I put a nose or two out of joint.
 
In my past I have lost several people extremely close to me, the hardest one to deal with was the passing of my first wife to cancer when she was at the tender age of 31.
 
She used to get so angry at people even contemplating suicide, seeing as she was literally fighting for her life during a long and protracted illness. She DIDN'T want to die, but to live and grow old. See her daughters grow up and do all the things that most of us take for granted.
 
I have the same philosophy on life. Depression is difficult to overcome I fully understand that, I've been there myself. Ultimately, the individual is the only person that can actually make the choice to get themselves out of that rut. I just wish people would see past the bad things that they perceive to be taking over their lives and look at all the good that is around them. You get to wake up every morning with your physical health very much in tact. You do not have the very black cloud of terminal illness hanging over you. You have a full life to look forwards to, LIVE IT!!
 
The only time that I think suicide is justified is if illness or impairment are so bad, that you cannot function in any way as the person you were. I watched my step father go through all the awful processes of motor neurons disease, which completely takes away every aspect of your bodies functionality, even to the point of breathing on your own. He suffered beyond what I could possibly imagine and I watched the life literally drain out of him.
 
I am so thankful to have the gift of life and health, we ALL should be. There are so many people in the world who simply survive on a day to day basis. We, in the Western world don't have a clue how that must be, yet we over complicate our lives to such an extent that we can't see the wood for the trees.
 
I truly wish that people would take a leaf out of Mike's book. He has more to deal with on a daily basis than many of us would see in a lifetime and yet always seems to look on the brighter side of life.
 
We all have bad days, granted. BUT that is all it should be, a bad DAY!
 
We have one shot at this life and we are lucky to live where we do. I have seen poverty and hardship when I travel for work, and I am always thankful that my life by comparison is so much easier.

It was, but she left me with 2 beautiful gifts. My daughters

I'm not going to pull any punches here, so I'll apologise in advance if I put a nose or two out of joint.
 
In my past I have lost several people extremely close to me, the hardest one to deal with was the passing of my first wife to cancer when she was at the tender age of 31.
 
She used to get so angry at people even contemplating suicide, seeing as she was literally fighting for her life during a long and protracted illness. She DIDN'T want to die, but to live and grow old. See her daughters grow up and do all the things that most of us take for granted.
 
I have the same philosophy on life. Depression is difficult to overcome I fully understand that, I've been there myself. Ultimately, the individual is the only person that can actually make the choice to get themselves out of that rut. I just wish people would see past the bad things that they perceive to be taking over their lives and look at all the good that is around them. You get to wake up every morning with your physical health very much in tact. You do not have the very black cloud of terminal illness hanging over you. You have a full life to look forwards to, LIVE IT!!
 
The only time that I think suicide is justified is if illness or impairment are so bad, that you cannot function in any way as the person you were. I watched my step father go through all the awful processes of motor neurons disease, which completely takes away every aspect of your bodies functionality, even to the point of breathing on your own. He suffered beyond what I could possibly imagine and I watched the life literally drain out of him.
 
I am so thankful to have the gift of life and health, we ALL should be. There are so many people in the world who simply survive on a day to day basis. We, in the Western world don't have a clue how that must be, yet we over complicate our lives to such an extent that we can't see the wood for the trees.
 
I truly wish that people would take a leaf out of Mike's book. He has more to deal with on a daily basis than many of us would see in a lifetime and yet always seems to look on the brighter side of life.
 
We all have bad days, granted. BUT that is all it should be, a bad DAY!
 
We have one shot at this life and we are lucky to live where we do. I have seen poverty and hardship when I travel for work, and I am always thankful that my life by comparison is so much easier.

I'm not going to pull any punches here, so I'll apologise in advance if I put a nose or two out of joint.
 
In my past I have lost several people extremely close to me, the hardest one to deal with was the passing of my first wife to cancer when she was at the tender age of 31.
 
She used to get so angry at people even contemplating suicide, seeing as she was literally fighting for her life during a long and protracted illness. She DIDN'T want to die, but to live and grow old. See her daughters grow up and do all the things that most of us take for granted.
 
I have the same philosophy on life. Depression is difficult to overcome I fully understand that, I've been there myself. Ultimately, the individual is the only person that can actually make the choice to get themselves out of that rut. I just wish people would see past the bad things that they perceive to be taking over their lives and look at all the good that is around them. You get to wake up every morning with your physical health very much in tact. You do not have the very black cloud of terminal illness hanging over you. You have a full life to look forwards to, LIVE IT!!
 
The only time that I think suicide is justified is if illness or impairment are so bad, that you cannot function in any way as the person you were. I watched my step father go through all the awful processes of motor neurons disease, which completely takes away every aspect of your bodies functionality, even to the point of breathing on your own. He suffered beyond what I could possibly imagine and I watched the life literally drain out of him.
 
I am so thankful to have the gift of life and health, we ALL should be. There are so many people in the world who simply survive on a day to day basis. We, in the Western world don't have a clue how that must be, yet we over complicate our lives to such an extent that we can't see the wood for the trees.
 
I truly wish that people would take a leaf out of Mike's book. He has more to deal with on a daily basis than many of us would see in a lifetime and yet always seems to look on the brighter side of life.
 
We all have bad days, granted. BUT that is all it should be, a bad DAY!
 
We have one shot at this life and we are lucky to live where we do. I have seen poverty and hardship when I travel for work, and I am always thankful that my life by comparison is so much easier.

I'm not going to pull any punches here, so I'll apologise in advance if I put a nose or two out of joint.
 
In my past I have lost several people extremely close to me, the hardest one to deal with was the passing of my first wife to cancer when she was at the tender age of 31.
 
She used to get so angry at people even contemplating suicide, seeing as she was literally fighting for her life during a long and protracted illness. She DIDN'T want to die, but to live and grow old. See her daughters grow up and do all the things that most of us take for granted.
 
I have the same philosophy on life. Depression is difficult to overcome I fully understand that, I've been there myself. Ultimately, the individual is the only person that can actually make the choice to get themselves out of that rut. I just wish people would see past the bad things that they perceive to be taking over their lives and look at all the good that is around them. You get to wake up every morning with your physical health very much in tact. You do not have the very black cloud of terminal illness hanging over you. You have a full life to look forwards to, LIVE IT!!
 
The only time that I think suicide is justified is if illness or impairment are so bad, that you cannot function in any way as the person you were. I watched my step father go through all the awful processes of motor neurons disease, which completely takes away every aspect of your bodies functionality, even to the point of breathing on your own. He suffered beyond what I could possibly imagine and I watched the life literally drain out of him.
 
I am so thankful to have the gift of life and health, we ALL should be. There are so many people in the world who simply survive on a day to day basis. We, in the Western world don't have a clue how that must be, yet we over complicate our lives to such an extent that we can't see the wood for the trees.
 
I truly wish that people would take a leaf out of Mike's book. He has more to deal with on a daily basis than many of us would see in a lifetime and yet always seems to look on the brighter side of life.
 
We all have bad days, granted. BUT that is all it should be, a bad DAY!
 
We have one shot at this life and we are lucky to live where we do. I have seen poverty and hardship when I travel for work, and I am always thankful that my life by comparison is so much easier.

I'm sure someone is going to type up something that is worth the read. I'm not really good at advise on life. I feel like I haven't experienced life yet.
 
But i'll tell you what I do know, and that is that you're not alone. Everyone on this forum has been depressed at one point or another. Some of us, we are just depressed more then others, and that's okay. But when you start thinking about these suicidal thoughts, that's not.
 
Suicide is a selfish act. You have a new nephew coming and you want to be there for him, correct? You have a twin brother, that probably wouldn't be able to look at himself in the mirror without thinking about you, trust me, I know. That alone should be enough for you to stop thinking about those horrible thoughts.
 
You know what you want to do with your body, you just need motivation to do it. I suggest using this forum as motivation. Use your PPR as a workout diary. Take some notes on what you have done, post some weekly improvement photos and/or get involved on one of Spectre's threads on working out. I find that when I'm trying to work out my body, I tell people and if they are noticing me not doing it, it embarrasses me. That is my motivation, not letting others down, while continuing to improve myself.
 
I'm here for you, as always. You have my number and you know where my inbox is.

And relax

What a complete and utter tool! If I ever caught one of my kids doing this there would be absolute hell to pay! It would have been a far better vid if he'd of handed the PS4 to some random stranger and asked him to beat that kid around the head with it!
 
And relax............

What a complete and utter tool! If I ever caught one of my kids doing this there would be absolute hell to pay! It would have been a far better vid if he'd of handed the PS4 to some random stranger and asked him to beat that kid around the head with it!
 
And relax............

Sort of mixed at the moment. The gun play certainly feels different from BF3 in that there does not seem to be as much recoil as before, which in my mind is a shame. Aim assist needs to be nerfed, as every gun has become a laser like CoD.
 
Suppression has been nerfed to the point where it's almost non existent. Good or bad? Depends on the individual. I'd like it back to how it is in BF3. I am however, liking the number or different settings you can have on your vehicles. Gives you loads of options after you unlock them, same goes for the guns as well. You can play to your strengths more so with the number of attachments available.
 
Recon's seem to be around more than ever, I'm thinking this is partly because of the fact they have a portable soflam which makes spotting opponents from a relatively safe distance quite easy. It would be good if they could introduce a camo that negates this, as they can be a pain in the arse sometimes, I know I've done it
 
The maps have definitely been designed with the next gen consoles in mind with 64 player servers, although the infantry fighting in Conquest particularly, does seem to concentrate on certain flags. My favourite map by far is Zavod 311, least favourite is probably Flood Zone, but having said that I have only really played either Conquest or TDM on this map and they usually end up as massive camp fest with snipers slogging it out. It may play totally different in Rush, Obliteration or Domination.
 
I need to expand my game mode selections more, only having played mainly Conquest with some TDM and Dom thrown in. I've only played one match of Obliteration and a few Defuse (basically SnD) matches.
 
Proper 5 man squads could easily dominate a match in 12 v12 matches, but at the moment this doesn't happen too much for me, :(On the couple of occasions when everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet, the results against the opposition have been pretty comprehensive.
 
Weapons are pretty good so far, although I have barely touched the Support class so can't really comment on the LMG's. I like the fact that  you can use Carbines across all classes when you unlock them, The AR's are probably still the best all round weapons to use, but Carbines and PDW's are pretty good also. I like the fact that Recon's get bolt actions from the outset. The only real issue with this is that it has promoted that class to the point that it gets extremely frustrating to have a team full of them and no flags being taken.
 
You do get the odd aggresive Recon, but not that many. I haven't used any DMR's yet so can't comment on those either, but they are availabel to all classes when unlocked as are the shotties. The unlocks for these are done via specific classes so it does sort of force you play as every class if you want to unlock certain weapon types. Engineers unlock Carbines, Supprot unlocks shotties and Recon unlocks DMR's.
 
Like I say, sort of mixed at the moment. It's not got me as hooked as BF3 did from the start. I'm thinking the next gen versions will play much better in many ways purely because of the numbers involved, the biggest issue I have is that I can't see me getting a PS4 for a little while yet.
 
Would I get it for the PS3 knowing what I know now? Probably yes, but with all the good stuff I'm hearing about Ghosts I'd be tempted to rent them both side by side and decide for yourself. If it was a PS4 based question, it would be hands down BF4, but then you would also have the option of Killzone. I loved KZ3, just nobody on my friends list played it so it was all solo, which again does diminish the experience on that game similarly to Battlefield.
 
Hope this helps.

Sort of mixed at the moment. The gun play certainly feels different from BF3 in that there does not seem to be as much recoil as before, which in my mind is a shame. Aim assist needs to be nerfed, as every gun has become a laser like CoD.
 
Suppression has been nerfed to the point where it's almost non existent. Good or bad? Depends on the individual. I'd like it back to how it is in BF3. I am however, liking the number or different settings you can have on your vehicles. Gives you loads of options after you unlock them, same goes for the guns as well. You can play to your strengths more so with the number of attachments available.
 
Recon's seem to be around more than ever, I'm thinking this is partly because of the fact they have a portable soflam which makes spotting opponents from a relatively safe distance quite easy. It would be good if they could introduce a camo that negates this, as they can be a pain in the arse sometimes, I know I've done it
 
The maps have definitely been designed with the next gen consoles in mind with 64 player servers, although the infantry fighting in Conquest particularly, does seem to concentrate on certain flags. My favourite map by far is Zavod 311, least favourite is probably Flood Zone, but having said that I have only really played either Conquest or TDM on this map and they usually end up as massive camp fest with snipers slogging it out. It may play totally different in Rush, Obliteration or Domination.
 
I need to expand my game mode selections more, only having played mainly Conquest with some TDM and Dom thrown in. I've only played one match of Obliteration and a few Defuse (basically SnD) matches.
 
Proper 5 man squads could easily dominate a match in 12 v12 matches, but at the moment this doesn't happen too much for me, :(On the couple of occasions when everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet, the results against the opposition have been pretty comprehensive.
 
Weapons are pretty good so far, although I have barely touched the Support class so can't really comment on the LMG's. I like the fact that  you can use Carbines across all classes when you unlock them, The AR's are probably still the best all round weapons to use, but Carbines and PDW's are pretty good also. I like the fact that Recon's get bolt actions from the outset. The only real issue with this is that it has promoted that class to the point that it gets extremely frustrating to have a team full of them and no flags being taken.
 
You do get the odd aggresive Recon, but not that many. I haven't used any DMR's yet so can't comment on those either, but they are availabel to all classes when unlocked as are the shotties. The unlocks for these are done via specific classes so it does sort of force you play as every class if you want to unlock certain weapon types. Engineers unlock Carbines, Supprot unlocks shotties and Recon unlocks DMR's.
 
Like I say, sort of mixed at the moment. It's not got me as hooked as BF3 did from the start. I'm thinking the next gen versions will play much better in many ways purely because of the numbers involved, the biggest issue I have is that I can't see me getting a PS4 for a little while yet.
 
Would I get it for the PS3 knowing what I know now? Probably yes, but with all the good stuff I'm hearing about Ghosts I'd be tempted to rent them both side by side and decide for yourself. If it was a PS4 based question, it would be hands down BF4, but then you would also have the option of Killzone. I loved KZ3, just nobody on my friends list played it so it was all solo, which again does diminish the experience on that game similarly to Battlefield.
 
Hope this helps.

There is a very long thread in the Battlelog forums arguing this very point. My take is remove kdr from all the objective based games, it's only needed in TDM and SQTDM. If people are so worried about it go play those games!

Holy hell Bee's, with your luck if you fell into a pool of shit you'd come out wearing a new suit!!

What the Wapping Gazette, yet another one of Murdoch's media manipulations. God I hate that paper and everything it stands for!

You've had plenty of extremely good advice so far, and you'd do well to take it in board. At the age you are life should feel a lot rosier than you are obviously feeling right now. I was just a little older than when I went through a really bad patch for reason I won't go into now.
 
The thing I picked up on more than anything was your comment regarding having kids. By the time I was your age I had 2 young daughters and absolutely loved (and stiil do) to bits. The first one was most definitely unplanned and I thought no I'm nowhere near ready to be a Father.
 
The day she was born stands out as being one of the greatest day's of my life, the pride and overwhelming love I felt the first time I held her cannot be described by words alone. The same was true when her sister was born and when my 2 son's came along a good few years later.
 
I always used to think I never wanted kids, how wrong I was. They bring so much joy, pride, heartache and at times pain, but I would not swap them for the world. I would lay down my life for them without a second thought.
 
My point is. The very fact that you are questioning whether you would be a good Father is what would make you just that. Don't dismiss the idea going forwards because you don't think you'd be good enough or you're scared of what "could" happen. They would bring a whole new way of thinking into your life. All I'm asking is, hold this thought for the future.
 
Right now, do as the others have stated, discover and be yourself. Find and do things that make you feel alive, try new things, experience things you've never done before. Live!!

What do those twats at The Sun think they are doing?!!! Talk about a storm in a tea cup Jesus!! So glad I never buy that piece of crap tabloid toilet paper.

What do those twats at The Sun think they are doing?!!! Talk about a storm in a tea cup Jesus!! So glad I never buy that piece of crap tabloid toilet paper.

What a cheating fucker this guy is!!

You've had plenty of extremely good advice so far, and you'd do well to take it in board. At the age you are life should feel a lot rosier than you are obviously feeling right now. I was just a little older than when I went through a really bad patch for reason I won't go into now.
 
The thing I picked up on more than anything was your comment regarding having kids. By the time I was your age I had 2 young daughters and absolutely loved (and stiil do) to bits. The first one was most definitely unplanned and I thought no I'm nowhere near ready to be a Father.
 
The day she was born stands out as being one of the greatest day's of my life, the pride and overwhelming love I felt the first time I held her cannot be described by words alone. The same was true when her sister was born and when my 2 son's came along a good few years later.
 
I always used to think I never wanted kids, how wrong I was. They bring so much joy, pride, heartache and at times pain, but I would not swap them for the world. I would lay down my life for them without a second thought.
 
My point is. The very fact that you are questioning whether you would be a good Father is what would make you just that. Don't dismiss the idea going forwards because you don't think you'd be good enough or you're scared of what "could" happen. They would bring a whole new way of thinking into your life. All I'm asking is, hold this thought for the future.
 
Right now, do as the others have stated, discover and be yourself. Find and do things that make you feel alive, try new things, experience things you've never done before. Live!!