Xethius

Thanks Mike for the post, this one made me feel alot better I definitely get where youre coming from. I gotta be strong and rise above all the bullshit. I think what I really need to do is just make my situation netter. Gotta get a job, save some money get out of this place, and hopefully figure out what I need to do with life. I understand man, you're gonna have people be nasty to you, and you're right. I can't let them get me down. Gotta just ignore they're bullshit and move on. We only live so long, and we only live once. Gotta make the best of it right? Thanks for the strong, words of encouragement man i cant tell you enough that I appreciate it. I'm feeling alot better tonight after re-reading your and the other guys advices here.

First off, thanks for the advice's guys. Especially Mike and Mark. Mike, thank you for your post I appreciate everything you said, and I'll always be there for you too I will get back into my working out, and I will try for myself to do better things to make me feel better. I'm feeling alot better that way today and that's because of ur post ^^ Mark, I'm terribly sorry that has happened to you. I couldn't even begin to fathom losing the love of my life. That would definitely destroy me. We've all been dealt a different hand in life. I get that, and I should be thankful for everything that I have. I've got a roof over my head, I believe I'm in decent health, I still have my GF and my twin bro along with my new nephew to look forward too. I do have it better than alot of people I get that, and i am thankful for it. It's what pushes me along in life. to try for them and to believe in myself. Unfortunately it dosent stop the thoughts. I dont think ive made it clear that ive had a rough life growing up...I got picked on all the damn time at school got bullied called mean names...so i ended up dropping out in the 7th grade...i still regret that to this day. why? because i never got to experience highschool. things coulda been different i coulda had friends and the like. that may seem minimal to you guys...but its made me into the person i am today. I'm quiet, awkward, and just introverted. i did homeschool too so thats part of the reason as well. when i did that my dad who was an abusive alcoholic beat me and my brother alot. Like when i didnt get a math problem right he'd smack a 3 pound fucking math book on my head until i got it right. if i cried or retaliated he'd smack me fuckin harder. That's just one example of how traumatizing that homeschool was for me and my bro. Did we get thru it? yes but it fucked both of us up. I graduated with a ged when i was 16. awesome right? Nope i had opportunities to go to college and do all that. what did i do? just sit on my ass and play vid games. in a dark room all by myself. And here i am today a deeply depressed, dark, angry and bitter man. And i'm only 21. I feel like ive been through it all even though i probably barely scratched the surface. When you experience all of those things, it makes you feel like you dont wanna try, or you don't wanna live. I feel like basically a reject to society and that i'll never fit in with anyone...that ill always be alone and that ill never find my place. im just a disappointment. my parents tell me that every once in awhile. and I still live with them even though theyre both quite narcissistic filling each others heads full of shit and lies. THIS is why I contemplate suicide often, this is why i have these thoughts. I'm not ungrateful in the least bit. I'm happy and thankful that i get to wake up and breath air. that i do have the things i have. I just wanted you guys to get alittle more of an idea of what i went thru. I know what I need to do. Even though I feel like i dont deserve the life i have, I will try and make the best of it, and to better the situations. I know suicide is selfish. I know it is, and I know alot of ppl have it alot harder than me, i know. Whewww that took alot for me to say....Idk if i feel better of feel worse... I'm glad i got it off my chest though.. Thanks guys

I'm sorry to post a depressing topic and im seriously not trying to make this a poor me thread. I'm just looking for some comfort and or relation. I've been having a very rough week with my depression. It's been a rough month actually. I don't know why but these thoughts of death pop into my head at a normal ratio of 1 to 2. So i think about it half the time im conscious... I can't for the life of me understand or even get why i'm having these thoughts. At least the ones about death. I have on seldom occasions suicidal thoughts....And I think I know the problem..i just sit there and dwell on the past so much :/ i'm often very pessimistic and have a "worst case scenario" outtake on life in general..just very negative. Sometimes I just wanna end so i can save myself from fighting another losing battle. I wish i was more optimistic and had a more postive approach to things. I mean I want to, but can I? Idk guys can any of you relate? And also just for facts wise: I'm 21 so i'm not a teenager going through a phase. I've suffered from depression atleast since I was 12. I guess I'm just looking for advice here as to what the fuck im suppose to do with myself. I use to workout so much, and now i've turned into some pudgey couch potato. I wanna get my body back to the way it was before...I wanna have goals for myself. And I do. Just sorta feeling lost atm. Not going to college bc i dont know what i wanna do yet or if im even taking that route. I had an interview but the guy ultimately chose someone else.. I GUESS im feeling bummed out about it......just a bad day............... :/

Bioshock...and Kyle?

I use them all the time. The frag grenade and everything else is kinda subpar compared to these. Now I don't spam them i just have them as "insurance" to keep my back when I play

Spectre you said it man. This game FUCKING sucks is more like it. Campers everywhere, honeybadger noobs everywhere, lag deaths everywhere...I'm aiming down my sights alright, and im about dead on the guys head and it's either my screen freezes for a quick sec and i die, or some asscunt bitch is hiding in a fucking corner in the room i'm in. I'm seriously so done with cod, at least Iward cod games. Bops 2 is soooo much better than this garbage. //rant over i feel better now

Welcome aboard fellow German!

Yeah I always had these as default. Like the other 2 said, the first 2 dont count for shit..maybe if youre lucky, but I like them alot

Palle now i dont know you much, but what you described in ur first post; we might as well be the same person. All I can say is I truly feel ya, feel your pain. I too feel like basically a "ghost" no one ever see's me. I'm the most honest, caring, and helpful person in a world full of shit and lies, and I still try and do the right thing, yet no one ever notices you. I can reflect every single thing you said so i dont need to post it here word for word, just know that I know too. It sucks. I also have depression, but I don't take anything for it. Bc i dont think anything can help...other than some fucking recognition in this damn world. alittle bit of reassurence from those we wanna help, tutor, just be around, would go a long way with me..and probably you. I also add that my parents tell me i'm a dissapointment just because i havent found my place in life yet. it helps alot with my issues lol Anyway im not trying to make this about me. Just wanna share that just so you know you arent alone. But take these guy's advice. Weightlifting is amazing it will do wonders for you. Meditate. Play your guitar and just let that music energy flow through your veins. Imagine playing one of your solo's to a hot girl and you two go off together somewhere Go out in nature, get some sunlight. all of these things help me and im sure they'll help you man. Just keep your head up. Life does suck. it really does, but when you go out there and prove yourself, you can be the one on top, telling everyone or everything "i told you so" Everyone has their place in life. If your "time" hasn't come yet, it will soon my friend. And im sure you know sometimes you gotta make your own luck..ya know being at the right place at the right time? it'll get better dude. If ya need me or anyone of us, we're all here for you brother

Im happy for you mike @player, yeah my connections gone to shit too on ghosts. Right now as I see it ghosts is a shitty rehash of mw3 with all the lag and bad spawns. Ill hold hopes tho ^^

If you like blues do you have a strat Tommy? Nothing like playing on the neck pickup of a strat for some soulful blues I have 3 LP style guitars, 1 strat style, 1 tele thinline style, and an Ibanez RG. I wish i could play better :/ lol

EEExactly.

What grinds my gears....LOL if you guys actually knew me in person i'd probably be the most impatient sof a b you'd meet. Today at the bank im standing there and there's 3 tellers, and this old man. he looks to be withdrawing his mini fortune and the teller and him keep quaking on and on..and im standing there waiting to get my service, nothing. I wait for what seems to be 15 min and turn around to say fuck it luckily someone said they could help me. For fuck sake if you have ppl there in your place of business address them instead of making work a social life.

Def the Ak-12 for sure. I've been using the SA something for awhile and it's good but the ak is better. Tried the MSBS and i suck at it :/ it's and alright gun with decent accuracy. But it sucks at close range. Also not as powerful as some are claiming it to be

I'll be on again around 8. Guys make sure when i ask to be invited please let me know if there's room or not.

Very impressive collection palle I like the AR and the dday clicker thing best

Nice idea dave

I definitely like the uav better. These sat coms are cumbersome and annoyingly easy to get.

That sucks man, sorry :/

Welcome aboard man!

Welcome man!

Ahh metallica!! Some good stuff you guys are posting!

Yeah I really can't say I care for that too much. I mean what's the point?

@Dave I tried going to the barracks thing and the whole invite to clan or whatever option is locked for me. All I have are view cod account, and name a clan options. When I go to the mobile app I can see my friends there and their clans when i try to apply at one it says " clan leader cannot apply at clan" ?

@drifter, thanks man! Nice bikes techno! Cool to see alot of you guys play guitar! @Pat do you have a preference to guitar sound? I.e les paul to strat? I should add that I like weight lifting too, it's really good when you just wanna clear your head or relieve stress