That's not true. I might care a lot about people and I'm nice most of the time but I'm not too nice... I don't let my friends push me around just like that and if they do I get pissed I'm no fun to be around when I'm pissed.This whole "let them know when to f**k of"-thing that you're trying to explain to me, I get it man. It's just contradictory in my head though because I've almost only lost friends that way.
Can you mention some examples with me being like the way you explained? I want to know because that might be a key for me to unlock this door and become better as a person around people.
What do you think of when you say I should add things? Anything in particular?I try to be fun. I make the few friends I have laugh quite easily... I tell them what I want, I suggest things we could do all the time but this is where that thing comes again, as I explained earlier; No one likes the same things I do and don't get interested. They turn my ideas down, all the time... So I kinda have to go with the flow and see what they like or else it won't work, it leaves me with very few choices.
It's hard to play tricky when all you want is to hangout. Especially when you have a very limited number of friends you can actually see (because other have too little time/live too far away etc.) Then having problems with depression & anxiety certainly doesn't help.
I know this... I have had this problem since March/April when I was prescribed stilnoct/zolpidem pills by my doctor and they have been making my life hell.I think I'm addicted. If not physically, then at least mentally and I have misused them since I got them. It started with me taking one and staying awake instead of going to bed after I had read about the effects you might get from it. As I've said earlier I've had issues with anxiety for a very long time. This makes me feel all kinds of physical symptoms; pains, aches, numbness, tensions etc. My jaw muscles are almost always tense and my jaw kinda locks into that place which makes my neck tense, leading to headaches which make me tired so I get even more anxiety thinking about that etc.
The pill made all of that go away. All anxiety, gone... I got hooked instantly because of this, it also made me really creative, happy, basically like there were no problems in the world. Also, doctors don't just prescribe benzodiazepines without a major reason... This pill worked for me though, or at least I thought so.
Staying awake on this pill has made me stay up for too long almost every night since I started, doings f**king weird things I don't really want to do (much like an alcohol blackout), hallucinations which were fun at the start but now they are gone, I sometimes post weird little messages on here (that's the pill talking) that I don't remember at all and it scares me.
I have self-harmed too and put myself in other risky situations and almost had no recollection of it the next day. It's been a nightmare, still is but most of the positive side-effects are now gone, yet I feel compelled to still take it every night... Even though it turns me into a person I don't want to be it stops me from thinking about reality and all of life's problems... I just can't stop.
As soon as I get out of this I will try to get my sleep pattern right... Thanks for replying