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So I get a phone call this evening, the number isn't withheld, it starts 01228 and my phone says Carlisle. Ok, I don't know anyone in Carlisle so I'm guessing it's someone calling from a place that wants to sell me stuff. I answer with "hello", and the guy, LOUDLY, replies... "Hello Euan, how are you this evening?" South African. Loud. It had to be Diddums. "Hi Dave, how's it going?" "Euan, my name is not Dave, I am Rory." My dad does a lot of prank calls. You phone his shop and he answers pretending to be an Indian takeaway. The accent is horrendous and probably a little racist but he's trying to be funny so you let him off. That's what I instantly thought of when Diddums called. I thought that the least he could do when phoning me and pretending to be "Rory" was to try and at least fake an accent. No, he phones and he sounds exactly like he normally does except everytime I called him Dave, he said "my name isn't Dave". At one point, I think I remember telling Dave that I knew it was him because there was no way he could get rid of his South African accent, and "Rory", confused, went "well, duh, I am South African." He decided then to go deeper into his little charade and said he was from Betway and asked if I was watching the Atletico/Chelsea game tonight. To humour him (he still was keeping in character so I was giving him some extra time to keep him happy), I said "no". "But we have great odds on the game tonight." He gave me some odds and told me if I bet £50 I'd get £750 back. I wasn't listening, at this point I thought I was listening to the worst prank call ever so I just kept saying "yes" to his questions. I lost interest, all the time thinking "Dave, you could be doing better FFS." He then told me he was going to send something to my email address and told me what my address was. At this point, I gave him a little credit for getting it right. However, he can easily get my email address from the site. Nice try, but not great. Mediocre. C+. Distinctly average. He then wished me a good evening and saying goodbye. I didn't expect him to hang up. So I sent him a WhatsApp: Just after that question, this SMS arrives: OOPS. The guy must have thought I was an asshole. He must have thought I was drunk calling him Dave all the time or racist telling him to get rid of his South African accent. The rest of the message to Dave:

Rich texted BBC now: Rich in Shitey Hackney, via text on 81111: Right decision to sack Moyes. Terrible results. Each defeat made me cry like I had just bitten in to a Supercharger burger.

Huh, we'll if that's the case he deserves to go, they would be 2 ridiculously poor decisions, thiago alacatra especially, Garay is also of a much higher calibre than jones, Evans, Ferdinand and smallng...

I don't watch Britain's Got Talent as it's shit and Britain has no talent but this is pretty damn good

Ah if only the programme was as good as the 'killer among them' trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADNwkxrCtd4&list=PL-DfNcB3lim9IZmUXEjE1Ov0Ir1NDa3Yr

To be fair, I would love a go on one of those chicks. I reckon they go like the clappers. Before Thicke though, they've probably got a menu of "which STI would you like this evening?" next to their unopened box of jonnies.

Euan, I love you. That is all.

to those experiencing Timeouts: No idea whats causing it other than perhaps ISP wonkiness sorry I can't be more helpful

I know they don't want to lose this tie and want to keep a clean sheet, but I really think Chelsea are a much better team than this, they don't need to play 3 holding midfielders... Yes they don't have eto'o and hazard available, but they have other players that could have come here and put the tie to bed if they actually tried...

New screens out today. Looking good

Terrible semi final in the CL so far. Feels like a mediocre Europa League game. Chelsea being negative as expected by pretty much parking the bus. Sensible but painful to watch at times. Athletico look a shadow of the team bossing La Liga at the moment. Bad sideways passing, hoofs up the field and poor final balls into the box. Hope for a better second half.

i liked it a lot more when it was a Marvin Gaye song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRcVQDELAd4

Better descriptions than I can provide are here http://eldersouls.com/elder-scrolls-online/skills

This game is fucked on levels Currently, there are still 3 duplication bugs that were present in BETA back in November, that were never addressed, and have destroyed the ingame economy. Also, here is a list of shit wrong with the game other than the dupe bugs, that really mean you should play something else. A TLDW: They done fucked up this game. The $20 extra for the 10th race is a money grab. Huge world, but sandbox is a lie. 120+ hours of content but it doesn't matter because its all average. Quests are boring. Required to enter a CC before being allowed to play the $60 30day period. Lots of bugs. Some bugs are gamebreaking. Encounters are awfully tuned. Example: bosses drop 2 gold. Named enemies drop 1 gold. Economy is boned due to dupe glitches. Horses cost 17k gold, or 42.7k gold. People who don't own collectors edition call the game a running simulator since nobody can afford horses. $20 bucks to upgrade. Grouping mechanics are terrible. It breaks quests mechanics in PvE and the MMO overall is less multiplayer and more singleplayer even when you are grouped. Everyone in the group has to do the same thing individually (like 4 people to touch a button for every door in the instance) to complete the quest as a group. The game teaches you to resent players. Voice acting is decent, but there are examples where the voice doesn't match the speaker (tree talks to you like hes a 20 year old yuppie who just got fired from his job). Encounters are not tuned well, quests have no immersion and progression is non-existent. Daedric army translates to 4 enemies. Little sense of discovery or wonder in the game. Everything feels soulless and half-assed. Highly suggested to get addons due to UI failures. Graphics are passable but not the impressive graphics some fanboys rave about. Game does not compete well vs single player rpgs, and nor does it compare well to current subscription or free 2 play MMOs. It does however distinguish itself with action combat MMO.

I have a PS4 but how much for the dog?

Because he's shite at COD.

I absolutely hate that song, it was out for probably over a year before they stopped playing it on the radio once every hour, I really never understood what was meant to be good about it...

Need to check this out tonight! Loved Retur to Castle Wolfenstein so absolutely interested!

I want this tshirt

Seriously?

It ain't rained in Scotland for a week. A flood is coming, I can feel it. Need to fly Chris here with his Noah shoes to come build me an ark.

I have no problem admitting that i watch Eastenders, although not my personal choice, i get to watch sport when ever without any moaning, so watching this is no problem. Plus Danny Dyer is amazing! Although the program is insane, i have a lot of respect for the writers because they churn out an insane amount of episodes and have been for years. But you're 100% correct, that trailer was pretty epic when compared to what the program is actually like

Way to support your team doug! That's just pathetic