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One of the mainstream solutions floating around for fixing an overweight bod is to stop eating so much. This has been proved wrong over the years thanks to charity appeals. You can clearly see that the starving children have big swollen bellies. This isn't because of a condition called Kwashiorkor as the media would have you believe. It all comes down to "fat gene". Fat people have a not-so-micro-organism called Gene that lives in the bowels of your bod. This fella has a bakery in with him that works like a.....bakery. So no matter how much you diet or stick your finger down your throat, Gene will continue baking cakes. Hence, you stay fat. Sorry. Onto the baldness. The ideal method to keep long flowing lockes or to even grow it back (thought it was impossible didn't ya?) is too rub semen into your scalp while repeating the word "Flubblegump" over and over for at least 25 minutes. Qualified professional answer: You can never truly lose weight and......semen

I need to see if there's a plugin which allows me to like every post in a topic with one click.

Fails. Post them.

*Mark recommended this thread. I don't know how he knew but lets go....* Cal's tips on necrophilia 1 - Make sure they're ready: Before you venture down the road of necrophilia, you need to make sure your new partner is actually dead. You can accomplish this by putting your thumb in the rectum. If they are alive, they might get pissed off. If they don't flinch then you're all set to start. You could skip the testing stage by getting a shovel (or a JCB if you're really looking to party) and heading to your local hotspot. This could be a graveyard or even a retirement home if you're the patient type. 2 - Find a romantic spot: You could be the naturist type and go at it there and then but if you want to keep it intimate, I'd suggest finding a nice secluded place. A lot of people make the mistake of bringing them home for coffee. DON'T do this. The smell of.......intimacy mixed with rotting flesh can cause a dip in the sensual mood. Find a romantic abandoned warehouse or derelict house. Maybe go back to their place? It's not like they're using anyway. 3 - Set the mood: Some incense goes a long way. I recommend lavender. 4 - Prepare yourselves: KY or Smuckers will allow you and your partner have fun without that horrible chafing feeling. Your new lady/boy friend isn't in a position to get......moist, without a helping hand. 5 - Be prepared for the break-up: Your new partners hygiene might start to get to you so always keep your options open. Keep an eye on the obituary pages in the newspaper. You never know, your high school crush who you were never good enough for might get hit by a car. Bitch can't say no now.... 6 - Go at it like a rabbit and a dead hare: You're ready now for some intimacy. Remember to clean up accordingly after fun-time is over (remember the hygiene) 7 - The actual break-up: You now need to let them down lightly. Dig a fresh hole and gently lower them into it (you were in love once). You could also bring them back to their grave but the po-po might be watching. 8 - Rinse and repeat *This is by no means a real guide and I don't condone sticking your wick into the dead community. It's wrong man.

Dear Cal, I have always secretly believed that I am a camel stuck in a man's body. I secretly believe this because when I mention in and the fact I'm considering surgically adding a hump, everyone says I'm bat shit crazy and then sit at the far end of the table. However, if I instead believed I was a woman trapped in a man's body, that would be totally legit, everyone would have to use my "woman" name or be a bigot, and might even raise a fund for me to mutilate my outie into an innie. So, I guess my question is this. Which is more resistant to pests, apple trees or pear trees?

Dear Cal, I hate everyone. I don't need help or advice, I just wanted to share. Cheers!

Embrace it. Use it.

Learn from it and use this valuable knowledge to brighten up your life

What the fuck am I meant to do with this?

This fail thread is win!

Qualified professional answer: To tickle when they're lonely.

Qualified professional answer: You've got to be kidding me. I've been further even more decided to use even go need to do more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It's just common sense. I'd say go with changing your in and out bits. Your question is a completely valid scientific problem. Not for me though. Between the years of 1680 and 1687, there was a little bollox named Issac that lived in England and all of his neighbors couldn't stand him. He was a smart man and he knew it. He'd go around telling people stuff that they weren't interested in. He became a pest. The villagers came up with a plan at a secret town meeting to get Issac out of the village during the day. They uprooted a tree from a nearby orchard and replanted it just on the outskirts of a local farm. They wrote up a note from his "grandmother" and sealed it. A courier found Issac and told him this letter was found recently and it told of an apple tree that made you your brain absorb more information than anywhere else in the country. He set off and found the tree. He sat there every day studying his books and shit, time passed and the placebo effect took place. He actually believed he was smarter than ever. The fool. Then one day an apple fell from the tree and landed on his loaf. This made him ponder why the hell things like that happened and then he discovered gravity, wrote a book and moved away to Hollywood. His neighbors' ploy had worked and Issac was gone. Qualified professional answer: Apple tree. There's no good stories about pears.

I guess that's what happens when you are balding fat guy with warts trying to understand women

There is a simple explanation for this so I won't go into too much detail. It is because they have a sand problem. Loads of it. In the vag.

One thread is enough thanks, I'd really prefer to stay off MI5's radar for a bit longer.

Not quite what i'd call general discussion, but they are valid tips all the same!

I swear to god, if this results in a console war I'll climb through the internet and punch you both in the face.

Do you need advice? Want to ask an Irishman his thoughts on world matters or even just what haircut to get? This is where you can ask those questions. I specialise in relationship advice as I recently became single in the past 6 months. So ask me questions and I'll make sure to give you the best answers with the worst advice.

Attention you scallywags! As you may have seen but also probably not, We are starting a Forever Gaming YouTube account. As we're not tied to a certain genre by our forum tile anymore, this extends an olive branch of sorts. Now all gameplay from all games is welcome. This ties in nicely with the release of GTA V soooooooooo...............I gots an idea. "Community Runs" The idea for this is you start your video by gaining your 1st star in the wanted level. You then proceed to fight it out with these bastards and do whatever you want. Rules: 1 - You CANNOT be arrested. Only cocks get arrested in GTA. 2 - You CANNOT use cheats. 3 - The forumers run should end in either death, or escape. 4 - In order to end your video by ways of escape, you MUST have a minimum wanted level of 4. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So there you have it. Let me know what you think, and let me know if you think there should be additional rules. Can't wait to see peoples thoughts. *EDIT!* This thread doesn't mean that this is the only series we'll be doing, Series suggestions are most welcome so please spit at us.......respectively.

Latest thing that pisses me off- Why the F'N media has to grab hold of one word/term and drive it right into the ground to the point where I want to rip the next persons head off that even udders it. That word......"Twerking"

Cancelled my flight.

I usually don`t have a problem with it, so not everyone That said, I hate when some posts break and others don`t.

I can't believe anyone could pick somebody other than Trevor. Hands down the best character i've played with in any game, let alone just this one.

Trevor. Hands down!

FUCK YOU BEES!!!

Dear Cal, You know that thing where girls tell you about a problem, and then you want to help by coming up with advice and shit, but they get really mad because actually they wanted you to share in their misery instead of trying to solve it. Just why? Thanks, All Men, Ever

The Wii U kicks both their asses. PC too. Wii U master race!

I'll try this when I get home. Will report back in about 3 hours

Tip: The clothes shops and Barbers dotted around San Andreas don't allow you to take out a weapon so you can't rob them. False. If you aim at the clerk from just outside the front door, they cower and allow you to enter with any weapon drawn. You can then proceed to shoot the cash register and take the irony-ridden bag with $ written on it. May I recommend Suburban. They have 3 registers. Ponsonbys' register cannot be opened. Even with sticky bombs and RPGs. I've tried.

Nail file never thought of that

Most doctors or sensible people would recommend a cream that I cannot link to because wisely, I never looked into it. I recommend a nail file for the job. You can file down the unwanted bumps to optimal size to keep them stylish. If you for some reason want to get rid of them, a Gillette turbo power razor will do the job. It's a lazy method though as it only takes 0.70 seconds to remove 1 wart. Qualified professional answer: Nail file.

I like the twitter feed. I have an account but rarely use it. I do tag @foreverrgaming in my YouTube videos. I'm not sure if it helps the account get followers or not but I like to think it helps. Status updates are still useless IMO. As someone said above, if people don't want to read your PPR, they probably couldn't care about your status (not directed at anyone, just in context)

Radiobread:

Yeah, thanks for the spoiler..

http://www.cabelas.com/product/Home/4th-Of-July-Shooting-Gear%7C/pc/105625080/c/107969580/Ruger174-BX-258482-Magazine/1229746.uts?avad=48247_f502b86f&WT.mc_id=al35987&rid=12&WT.tsrc=AFF $21.99 for Ruger BX-25 mags for the 10-22. I'm probaby going to pick up two myself.

as usual and

Wide.

I just wanted to add a link to this: http://www.ign.com/wikis/gta-5/GTA_Online?utm_campaign=ign+main+twitter&utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social

Here a nice little list from the IGN Wiki that confirmed stuff for GTA Online. There is this and more... Create a customized character Develop a backstory for your character Backstory determines starting location Join a crew Rob a convenience store with a friend Customize a mask for GTA Online Yell into a controller microphone to make a hold up go faster Freely divide up money after a heist A mission called Titan Steal has you stealing the Titan cargo plane Fly with your friends in an airplane Race anyone, anywhere, anytime by dropping a marker Play multiplayer Golf or Tennis Play a 4-player Golf game Purchase a safehouse Watch TV with your friends Watch Weasel News helicopter footage of your friends doing things Smoke pot with your friends in your safehouse Shower to wash off blood Use an ATM to deposit money Steal your friends' undeposited money Play a "deathmatch" game Design a "deathmatch" game Go to a Strip Club Watch a movie and comment on it as a group with friends Vote on mission playlists Play 500 pre-made missions, more will be added

So do we want it back or not? I've got some left over real estate at the moment but I can't guarantee that it'll stay there for very long. I agree with the PPR thing though, that's an entire forum for status updates. If people don't read your PPR, then odds are they're not too bothered about your status either.