Drifter 851 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 I think I know most you guys enough to be able to seriously talk about this. Even if it's just to bounce thoughts off some of ya, let me give the low down on todays happening at Drifters Casa. So late last night I get this message on Facebook, I click to see how it is from and was kind'a left open mouth when I see it was from my very first "serious" girlfriend (ex fiancee). We were together for about 3 yrs back when I was 21 and she was 25. We broke up back about....jeez, 1992? 1993? there about's, so I have not talked to her for close to 20 year now. Well out of the blue I get this message from her last night asking how I have been, and telling me she likes the pictures I have posted of me this year etc etc. I replied back with a very brief but friendly reply saying I'm well and things are going good and I'm just getting ready to go on a trip to PA with friends etc etc. So today she replies to that, telling me a bit about her life now and how she's going to school now to be a RN etc.... Then at the very end of the message she says....."Would you like to get together for coffee when you get back from your trip, and maybe catch up with each others lives?". Okay let me say a few things here. You guys all know as I am very open about my past that I am now a recovering alcoholic, I don't hide it because my past is what has made me the man I am today. With that said......This is the girl that started me on the path to being a heavy drinker back then because when we broke up I took it like a ton of bricks and I was fucked up in the head for years after her, big time. On the other hand, I have to admit, sex with her was fucking amazing LOL I'm serious, we all have that "one girl" that we compare every other woman we are ever with too in bed, well this one is the one I compared everyone else too. She was just amazing in bed....so there's that on the "positive column" lol. I just don't know though. Right now for the first time in my life I am really honestly "happy". I enjoy not having anything tying me down, being able to pick up and go where I want and do what I want and fish when I want on spur of the moment. Last thing I want to to get back into a relationship, and especially if it lead back to places I was at before with her and it fucked my life up again. Anyway, just thinking out loud here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
techno 3,491 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Your a lot older and wiser now, its coffee what have you got to lose? Also if you don't will you be thinking "what if"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Docwagon 856 Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 Eject Goose, eject. Why did she suddenly contact you out of the blue? I'd put my money on she just went through a breakup. Now she's on the rebound. Reaching out to someone from 20 years ago says desperate, lonely, and/or bat shit crazy. You've moved on. I'd say continue to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drifter 851 Posted November 10, 2014 Author Share Posted November 10, 2014 Eject Goose, eject. LMFAO! That's what I'm thinking too. BUT....I still dunno 100%....still thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Docwagon 856 Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 LMFAO! That's what I'm thinking too. BUT....I still dunno 100%....still thinking. Go with your gut. Over thinking it leads to justifications for marginal decisions when it comes to these sorts of decisions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BO7H B4RRELS 2,451 Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 Go with your gut. Over thinking it leads to justifications for marginal decisions when it comes to these sorts of decisions. This. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plumbers Crack 4,052 Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 Maybe she justs wants coffee and a catch up. Women's brains are wired different to mens as my wife reminds me. They don't think with a dick Maybe she is crazy Maybe you're both older and wiser. When you had problems before, it lead to drink. You' ve been there done that, know the consequences and I'm sure you have the resolve not to go there again, no matter what the situation is Coffee can be neutral and pleasant. Get into her head before you even consider getting in her pants! Thanks to Capn_Underpants for the artwork Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deterioration 443 Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 +1 Doc Fuck that bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JsinOwl 644 Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 Gotta go with Doc on this one If you decide to put your dick in crazy, be ready to change your phone number and relocate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lepercolony 275 Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 Eject Goose, eject. Why did she suddenly contact you out of the blue? I'd put my money on she just went through a breakup. Now she's on the rebound. Reaching out to someone from 20 years ago says desperate, lonely, and/or bat shit crazy. You've moved on. I'd say continue to move on. or she was doing a little weekend browsing, noticed our boy here lost a bunch of weight and has the beard of a demi-god, and decided to shoot over a hello. social media can be a mysterious beast. sure it's smart to be cautious but everyone has their own motivations for reaching out to people. it's easier to assume the worst, especially for guys like you and me who personally wouldn't send something like this unless it was out of desperation. but that doesn't automatically mean she's desperate. i'm doing devil's advocate here because i can relate to how Steve said being burned in the past has made him less eager to jump in the fire again. totally get that. so (since it's you and not me, Steve) i say go for it. either way, as far as the drinking thing, that seems like it should be separate from whatever happened with this girl. i guess i'm saying that if you did pursue this and things went rotten, that doesn't have to mean you'll automatically hit the bottle again. you're a different dude now and should get credit for that. i think you answered your own question though: Last thing I want to to get back into a relationship, and especially if it lead back to places I was at before with her and it fucked my life up again. that seemed like the most telling part. if you don't want a relationship, you don't want a relationship. simple as that. also, this is extremely truth-y: Go with your gut. Over thinking it leads to justifications for marginal decisions when it comes to these sorts of decisions. i seriously need this tattooed on my forehead or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Docwagon 856 Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 or she was doing a little weekend browsing, noticed our boy here lost a bunch of weight and has the beard of a demi-god, and decided to shoot over a hello. social media can be a mysterious beast. After 20+ years? People in a good place don't Google/Facebook people 20 years after the breakup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lepercolony 275 Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 After 20+ years? People in a good place don't Google/Facebook people 20 years after the breakup. fair point -- we may need more background. i'd assumed they were already FB friends and she was just saying Hi: So late last night I get this message on Facebook, I click to see how it is from and was kind'a left open mouth when I see it was from my very first "serious" girlfriend (ex fiancee). We were together for about 3 yrs back when I was 21 and she was 25. We broke up back about....jeez, 1992? 1993? there about's, so I have not talked to her for close to 20 year now. Well out of the blue I get this message from her last night asking how I have been, and telling me she likes the pictures I have posted of me this year etc etc. hard to tell from that, you could read it a couple different ways. just because they haven't spoken for 20 years doesn't mean she hasn't been keeping tabs on him via FB -- apparently she likes "this year's" pics. maybe Steve can clarify. basically all's i'm saying is that Steve doesn't have to get ahead of himself here. that's a problem i have too. she asked about coffee and he's worried it could ruin his life. i get that kind of thinking, but it's wrong. for all he knows, coffee's just coffee, there are no ulterior motives, and they could end up re-connecting and be good buddies or something. . . . although it'd be a shame because there wouldn't be any of that "fucking amazing LOL" sex. coffee's nice, but that sounds pretty good too. you're not the same dude you were at 21. she probably isn't either. that said, at the end of the day it's probably not a good idea -- older women power trip. (so i've been told.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drifter 851 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 hard to tell from that, you could read it a couple different ways. just because they haven't spoken for 20 years doesn't mean she hasn't been keeping tabs on him via FB -- apparently she likes "this year's" pics. maybe Steve can clarify. She "friended" me about 2 years ago, but never have really talked at all. She "liked" a pic of me I posted last year after I lost all the weight and started working out. Maybe she justs wants coffee and a catch up. Women's brains are wired different to mens as my wife reminds me. They don't think with a dick Totally agree about their brains being wired differently, but I will say this about this girl. She had a sex drive that would not quit. Back in the day we use to get a motel room friday afternoon thru Saturday morn and it was nothing for her to want it five to six times in that 24hr time frame. So unless something has changed in the past 20 yrs, I have a pretty good idea what she wants lol. I actually replied to her again the other night, I think for the time being I handled it pretty well. I simply told her that I really had a lot of things going on over the next few weeks with the trip to PA, then some family stuff and then Thanksgiving etc etc...but we'd tryin' get together sometime soon for coffee. She replied right back and said "great look forward to seeing you soon to catch up". So I kind'a pressed the "pause" button on the whole thing for a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordie1892 674 Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 If I've learnt anything from my exploits as a young man it is that: 1) Women are bat-shit crazy 2) Thinking with your dick usually ends in trouble. Both apply here. Don't do it man... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BO7H B4RRELS 2,451 Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 She had a sex drive that would not quit. Back in the day we use to get a motel room friday afternoon thru Saturday morn and it was nothing for her to want it five to six times in that 24hr time frame. So unless something has changed in the past 20 yrs, I have a pretty good idea what she wants lol. Pics or it didn't happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McNasty 260 Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 Simple question for you. What do you get out of it? The past is the past, fuck her there's a delete button for a reason. I won't pretend to understand her motives, but you're happy so why would you screw that up by reviving a past that wasn't good for you. Nothing good will come of this. Tell her straight up that you have no interest in catching up, then delete her from being able to send you any kind of message. Bury this shit in the past where it belongs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lepercolony 275 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 The past is the past, fuck her well that's just confusing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palle 491 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 My opinion: Move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drifter 851 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 Well update... She & I have been talking through facebook the past few weeks. We finally exchanged phone# last night again, we spoke tonight. Here's the big thing that blew my friggin mind. After 1hr of talking tonight on the phone, she told me how (and I quote...the worst thing she ever did was break up with me)... No shit that was her exact words lol. She told me this with tears in her eyes, and that's after 20 yrs. That on one hand is scary lol and yet the other was nice to hear. I dunno. I'm lost still... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JsinOwl 644 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Keep us updated, I think you might be on a crash course with crazy sex... Just remember, it's not about the nail, that's my romantic advice. If you decide to put your dick in crazy, be ready to change your phone number and relocate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drifter 851 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 LOL Jay that is fuckin great lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Docwagon 856 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 she told me how (and I quote...the worst thing she ever did was break up with me)... No shit that was her exact words lol. She told me this with tears in her eyes, and that's after 20 yrs. Flattering, but not a good sign IMO. Can you think of ANYTHING you'd take that hard 20 years later if your in a healthy mental state? Best case she's building you up in her mind to some ideal version of you that real you can never live up to, resulting in resentment but at least sincere in her mind. Worst case, intentionally manipulative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BO7H B4RRELS 2,451 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 That's a bad sign, Steve. Bad, bad, bad. The first phone conversation should be small talk to just catch up and get a feel for each other. She blew her load right away. That's scary man. Play it safe. If you decide to put your dick in crazy, be ready to change your phone number and relocate. Seriously... that's a bad sign in my eyes. Sure, you probably felt flattered, but who in the hell says that kind of shit (with tears in their eyes) after 20 years? Crazy people. Crazy people say that kind of shit. Tread carefully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deterioration 443 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Firmly planted at "Fuck that bitch." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drifter 851 Posted December 10, 2014 Author Share Posted December 10, 2014 Pretty much my thoughts as well. Personally I moved on years ago and am happy with my life the way it is. Probably just gonna leave her in the past and do what I always do, which is fish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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