Last Night, Oopsie

[Chookes 965]

So I was out drinking with some work colleagues in the middle of Glasgow last night. It was a leaving party and we start drinking at half 4. I was meant to leave for the half 7 train but when I'm having a good time drinking it's difficult to stop so I stayed a bit later. By midnight, I was mortal but still had enough sense to get the last train home at 10 past 12. I was rushing for it but got on the train just in the nick. Everything going to plan so far...

 

An hour later, I'm woken up by a train conductor in Kilmarnock, 20 miles from Glasgow and my stop. He tells me to get out of the train and it takes me a couple of minutes to realise what's happened. The train leaves and I'm all alone. I phone my wife to tell her and she's, expectedly, not very happy. I go try an exit, padlocked. I try another, padlocked. I've never been to this station before, there's loads of doors and they're all locked. I tell my wife I'll phone her back. I find a small wall I can climb, but the road below is a 10 meter drop.

 

At this point I'm panicing. I'm running all over the train station and I can't get out. I phone my wife again and she texts me the number for the train station's head office.

 

"So you're stuck in the train station?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Yes."

 

"I'll try and get someone to you but it may take a while as it's a Friday night."

 

I sat there waiting on a seat for 20 minutes and I thought I'd go for one more look. I'm sobering up so I'm starting to think about things a bit clearer. Before I was running like a headless chicken but now I'm like Inspector Clouseau and I follow the Way Out sign. An exit, unsurprisingly, awaited me. It was beautiful, one of the best sights I've ever seen. How the f**k I missed it the first time I don't. I think I saw the sign the first time and looked at the door right next to it, rather than carrying on past the sign like you're meant to. The door was padlocked, probably because it was a store cupboard and drunk me isn't very clever.

 

I take £50 out of an ATM and flag a taxi.

 

"Where you going?"

 

"Darnley."

 

"Where in Kilmarnock is that?"

 

"It's not, it's in Glasgow."

 

I then spent 25 minutes driving home with the taxi driver, telling him my tale and trying to convince him I'm not an idiot. He stops the meter at £32 telling me that I've suffered enough tonight and he'll give me a discount for giving him a laugh. I get home, wifey looking not best pleased. I get a phone call 10 minutes later.

 

"Is this Euan? Are you still stuck in the train station?"

 

"No, I went out the exit."

 

"Great news, enjoy the rest of your night."

 

I then went to bed and texted Diddums to cheer him up on nightshift. FML.

[Jason 1,245]

That's classic.

[Dr Diamond 407]

fucking moron

[techno 3,511]

What an idiot funny tho

[Drifter 851]

 

 

 

[TigerBurge 2,375]

That may be on of the best stories I've ever heard. Even my wife was laughing.

[Diddums 4,346]

Hahahaha, you pillock. 

[Chookes 965]

Don't feel well still.

[Diddums 4,346]

I was half tempted to tell your wife that Ikea had a one off everything half price sale today, but I thought that might be a bit much for you to handle. 

[Just Cal 461]

Train sleeps are always better than bus sleeps hahahaha thanks for this man.

[Chookes 965]

I was half tempted to tell your wife that Ikea had a one off everything half price sale today, but I thought that might be a bit much for you to handle. 

 

She's at work, thankfully!

 

Train sleeps are always better than bus sleeps hahahaha thanks for this man.

 

Luckily, the train stopped in Kilmarnock. The train before carried on to Newcastle.

[burnfitbillyboy 505]

That's fucking awesome! Same thing happened to me once on the bus.

[Stretch616 697]

That's awesome! I bet you looked at the exit sign the first time round and your drunken mind said "no, that'd be too easy!"

I assume wifey was full of support and was glad you had such a good night!