The Emotional Journey of Every Overwatch Event

[The3rdWalker 1,269]

 

May 24, 2017

With the release of every new Overwatch event, there comes an emotional journey that anyone who plays it goes through. It always happens in this exact way, without fail. Note that the following is based on true events.

 

Stage 1: Get incredibly hyped for new skins and emotes

SOMBRA CAN FINALLY SIT! ORISA CAN SIT TOO AND OMG IT'S CUTE! AND HOLY CRAP DID YOU SEE THE DANCE EMOTES? AND THE SENTAI GENJI SKIN? AND OH HOLY CRAP THE D.VA ONE JESUS CHRIST

 

Stage 2: Pick out exactly which skins and emotes you DEFINITELY have to get, no matter what

I mean, I have to get ALL of them, obviously - but as for MUST haves, I've carefully weighed how much I truly want each one and narrowed it to down to "every single one except the stupid Lucio pick-up artist skin."

 

Stage 3: Get pumped by the assorted other new features (new levels, new game modes, POTG screens)

Wow - the new Arena maps look super-fun, they've got Total Mayhem back in the mix, and there are some really neat new sprays even! I can't wait to start playing!

 

Stage 4: Start things right by opening up the free loot box they give you at the start of every new event.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy!

 

Stage 5: 3 white, 1 blue. Only event-specific thing is an Orisa player icon.

...oookay. Hm. Well, didn't really expect to get lucky on the first try. Next time will be better!

 

Stage 6: Allow yourself to spend $5 to buy a few lootboxes to get yourself started and maybe get a few legendary skins!

It's just a few bucks - and after all, with as much time as you've put into Overwatch, a few bucks more is practically nothing!

 

Stage 7: 3 white, 1 blue. Only event items are a Winston player icon and a Zenyatta voice line.

HMMMM. Okay, okay, well - now I'm DUE for some legendaries.

 

Stage 8: Spend $20 more and...GET A LEGENDARY! WOO! CAN'T WAIT TO....

 

Stage 9: COINS? COINS??? COINS. FUCK. 500 COINS. GODDAMMIT.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT

 

Stage 10: Alright, time to play some matches and EARN some lootboxes!

Let's hop into Arcade and try out some new modes and maps!

 

Stage 11: Wait HOW DOES EVERYONE ALREADY HAVE ALL THE COOL SKINS AND EMOTES???

WELL I'LL JUST SHOW OFF MY COOL TORBJORN VOICE LINE, HOW ABOUT THAT.

 

Stage 12: OH GOOD EVENT-SPECIFIC JUNKRAT VOICE LINE, GREAT, THANKS LOOTBOX

YEAH PLAYING THOSE SHITTY ARENA MAPS WAS REALLY WORTH IT, GREAT.

 

Stage 13: Take a step back - the event's gonna last at least a few weeks, so you've got plenty of time to earn lots of lootboxes and get all the skins you need

I'm getting all worked up over this - it's just the first day, and I've probably just gotten all my bad luck outta the way. I'm practically guaranteed to get way more legendaries soon, now that I've gotten so many lame loot boxes already.

 

One Day Later...

Stage 14: Come to the sinking realization that you are never going to come close to getting all the skins and stuff you were hoping for. WHY DO LEGENDARY SKINS COST 3000 BUT GOLD COIN REWARDS ARE ONLY 500?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THAT SHIT???

IT MAKES NO SENSE! I SEE GOLD AND I WIND UP WITH ONLY HALF THE COINS IT TAKES TO GET A NON-EVENT LEGENDARY SKIN? HOW DOES THAT WORK???

OKAY THE BASTION DANCE, THAT'S ACTUALLY NOT TOO BAD

OH GOOD THIS WILL PAIR NICLEY WITH MY TORBJORN VOICE LINE

AH GOOD TWO LUCIO THINGS THAT AREN'T TIED TO THE EVENT, GREAT

FUCK

THREE SPRAYS?? THREE?!?!

 

One More Day Later...

Stage 15: WHY DID I WASTE ALL MY COINS DURING THE UPRISING EVENT? I BOUGHT TWO TORB SKINS, WHAT WAS I THINKING.

I DON'T EVEN PLAY TORBJORN.

 

Two Weeks Later...

Stage 16: HOW HAVE I NOT GOTTEN ANY EVENT SKINS YET???

I'LL EVEN TAKE THE STUPID PICK-UP ARTIST LUCIO ONE! PLEASE, JUST ANYTHING.

 

Last Day of the Event

Stage 17: OKAY FUCK IT $50, YEP THE COST OF A WHOLE NEW GAME, JUST TO GET SOME OF THE SKINS THIS GAME OWES ME. GIVE ME THOSE FUCKING LEGENDARIES OR I SWEAR TO FUCKING CHRIST.

A REAPER VOICE LINE GODDAMMIT WHO DO I MURDER TO FIX THIS

 

Right After Event Ends

Stage 18: I'm burnt out on this game after grinding nonstop for TWO WEEKS to earn lootboxes and STILL getting jack shit to show for it. Time to step away from this game entirely and take stock of how I'm spending my time and why I was so obsessed with getting new aesthetic perks for some old game. I could have been out there living life - or at least trying out a new game and having new experiences. I mean, that Genji skin wasn't even THAT cool, so who cares that I didn't get it? Was it worth all the negativity it brought out in me? Definitely not.
 

Yep, I'm walking away from this - and it feels good.

 

When the Next Event Is Announced

Stage 19: ...holy shit those new skins look so tight. Maybe I'll just buy a FEW loot boxes...

[GazzaGarratt 11,035]

I love the game but I don't think I could buy any loot boxes. Based on real life experiences @Diddums can confirm.

 

I'd buy a skin if i had 100% guarantee I'd get it though.

 

 

Mmmm.....D.Va Police skin.....