Docwagon

Same here.  Thanks for that.
 
There's a community of Disney pervs, too.  I'm sure there's Spongebob porn out there, but I'm not going to be the one to Google it.  (Suck it NSA, one less thing for you to laugh at me about).

The story of how I met my wife is almost as good. A mutual friend brought her over to my place and got us both shit-faced. Umm.. yeah I guess that's about it.

On Sept 13th, 2004, a man who had fled to a war zone to save himself from himself was able to marry a woman who was brave enough to go against her family and her culture in the name of love.
 
In the summer of 2003 the man had an epiphany.  For reasons that are irrelevant to this story, he realized he needed to start over before his behaviors destroyed him.  He remembered the last place he'd been happy was the military, but with his fucked up knee he'd probably not get far in trying to reenlist.  He also wanted more freedom than an enlisted man had.  So he became a security contractor, moved half way around the world away from all influences and alcohol, and before Christmas of that year he was in a foreign country watching the sand blow around.
 
She was living with her parents, as is the custom of her land for unmarried women, and working as a pharmacist.  She'd had an arranged marriage planned, but it had fallen through when the man had immigrated to another country before they were actually married.  She was young, beautiful, and with a respectable career.  She had no shortage of suitors, she had taken to wearing a ring and pretending it was a wedding ring because she got so many proposals in a day.  Wealthy men, men of local fame from the media and the government services attempted to catch her eye.  None did.  She originally thought he was Lebanese, as he was sundark from working in the desert heat and dressed in local fashion.  He spoke Arabic poorly, though, and he was in fact an American.  She had nothing against Americans, she'd lived in Kuwait during the Iraqi invasion, and like the native Kuwaitis remembered US soldiers as liberators.  Still, Americans were an unknown quantity, often looking for a short term relationship that would destroy a woman's reputation and chances of a respectable marriage.  She initially was leery of the American, but finally relented and went out with him for dinner and a beach visit.  He invited her to his upcoming birthday party, she agreed to attend.  They would have their first kiss.  Love would blossom.  They would consider marriage.
 
Her father initially agreed, but due to pressure applied by the brothers for reasons that are unimportant to this story, withdrew his consent.  This made marriage impossible in the country they were in, as his signature was required for a legal marriage.  They created a plan that was both simple and devious.  She would say she wanted to fly to Jordan, where they maintained a home, to forget about the American.  He would fly to Jordan with all of the required paperwork.  Jordan did not require the father's signature because of the earlier arranged marriage, he had already signed stating she could be married and Jordan didn't require him to say WHO she could marry, just that she could.  Over the course of weeks she brought clothing and documents, he took them and stored them in his house.  She flew out on the 8th of Sept.  He flew out on the 10th.  Her father would fly out on the 14th, which would greatly limit her movement, as he would want to spend the time with her.  On the 9th he received a call from a lawyer in Jordan he'd hired to research and was told he needed many more documents than what they'd already gathered.  The details are unimportant to this story, but he was hard pressed to gather them and there were some shady dealings, but he got it done.
 
The plan was almost destroyed due to bureaucrats and a religious holiday.  They were unable to marry on the afternoon of the 10th, as had been the original plan.  He hired a fixer.  The fixer, The Chechnyan was very resourceful, drove them to multiple embassies to get required documents and stamps.  He stole court documents, he may have kidnapped and/or bribed a sheik to do the ceremony, it was never quite clear which.  Like I said, Jordan's not real picky as long as the right people get paid.  The details are unimportant to this story.  For the price of a lawyer who thought he could get it done in a few months, months they didn't have, he made it happen for the couple on the Express plan.  They were married on the 13th of September, 2004, in the living room of a man they'd known for all of 3 days, in front of witnesses he'd hurriedly gathered from his neighbors.  There were no pictures.  They were in a hurry, she needed to return before her cousins grew suspicious.  He had not thought to bring a camera, his nerves were raw.  She returned to her home, he to his hotel, to await their marriage certificate.
 
The Chechnyan went to the court to get the certificate, knowing there were "irregularities" in the packet of documents but also knowing how Muslim cultures work he said this was best.  He told them we'd already left on our honeymoon, which they would understand to mean if they revoked the marriage she would be unable to find a proper marriage again.  The Chechnyan returned with the certificate, legally binding in any Muslim country and with it, one could get a civil certificate binding in the US.  In gratitude, when The Chechnyan refused to take any additional money, he bought a mattress and box spring. He knew that the one The Chechnyan and his wife slept on was worn out and they suffered from back pain because of it.  The Chechnyan had no choice but to accept, as he knew it would go to waste if he did not, and his honor was not impugned by accepting the gift.
 
He only had to get his bride away from her family to spirit her away.  He was now familiar enough with Muslim culture to know there were places that unescorted women could go that no man could enter, such as a hair salon.  He told her to make sure she had her passport and to go get her hair done.  Sure enough, her father dropped her off with the understanding he would pick her up again in 3 hours.  The Chechnyan pulled up, she came back out of the hair salon, and he drove her to the hotel where her groom was waiting, not willing to risk the father seeing him if he went to pick up his bride.  The Chechnyan took the couple to the airport, where they would fly back to Qatar.  He gave his cell phone to The Chechnyan.  Just before the plane closed its doors and the no electronics message was read, she sent a text to her father telling him not to pick her up, that she was with The American in a private cab on the way to Syria to be married.  The false trails were laid.
 
The Chechnyan would call him a few days later and say that yes, the father had called the phone.  Yes, he'd told him that he'd bought the phone from an American at the airport in Damascus for a very good price because he was flying to the USA with his new bride.  The false trails were complete.
 
In an abundance of caution, they would fly to Cyprus two months later and get married again in a civil ceremony.  The documentation was cleaner, it was in English, it would be a much easier presentation for her visa to move to the US with him.  They would continue to celebrate the 13th as their anniversary, though, because that's when they knew that the law, her family, and the culture couldn't keep them apart any longer.
 
The couple had a son.  Once his contract was up, they moved to the US and built a life.  It wasn't always easy.  There were adjustments, there were misunderstandings, there were some tough times and some hard work, but they built a life.
 
He was forever changed.  His anger subsided, he adjusted, he learned moderation.  He had, quite frankly, been a gigantic dick for much of his life.  He realized that she was much too good for him, and he strove to be who she deserved.  He failed.  He backslid.  He still does, but he's a much better human being for the trying.
 
She is, he believes, happy.
 
God send that it remains so.

On Sept 13th, 2004, a man who had fled to a war zone to save himself from himself was able to marry a woman who was brave enough to go against her family and her culture in the name of love.
 
In the summer of 2003 the man had an epiphany.  For reasons that are irrelevant to this story, he realized he needed to start over before his behaviors destroyed him.  He remembered the last place he'd been happy was the military, but with his fucked up knee he'd probably not get far in trying to reenlist.  He also wanted more freedom than an enlisted man had.  So he became a security contractor, moved half way around the world away from all influences and alcohol, and before Christmas of that year he was in a foreign country watching the sand blow around.
 
She was living with her parents, as is the custom of her land for unmarried women, and working as a pharmacist.  She'd had an arranged marriage planned, but it had fallen through when the man had immigrated to another country before they were actually married.  She was young, beautiful, and with a respectable career.  She had no shortage of suitors, she had taken to wearing a ring and pretending it was a wedding ring because she got so many proposals in a day.  Wealthy men, men of local fame from the media and the government services attempted to catch her eye.  None did.  She originally thought he was Lebanese, as he was sundark from working in the desert heat and dressed in local fashion.  He spoke Arabic poorly, though, and he was in fact an American.  She had nothing against Americans, she'd lived in Kuwait during the Iraqi invasion, and like the native Kuwaitis remembered US soldiers as liberators.  Still, Americans were an unknown quantity, often looking for a short term relationship that would destroy a woman's reputation and chances of a respectable marriage.  She initially was leery of the American, but finally relented and went out with him for dinner and a beach visit.  He invited her to his upcoming birthday party, she agreed to attend.  They would have their first kiss.  Love would blossom.  They would consider marriage.
 
Her father initially agreed, but due to pressure applied by the brothers for reasons that are unimportant to this story, withdrew his consent.  This made marriage impossible in the country they were in, as his signature was required for a legal marriage.  They created a plan that was both simple and devious.  She would say she wanted to fly to Jordan, where they maintained a home, to forget about the American.  He would fly to Jordan with all of the required paperwork.  Jordan did not require the father's signature because of the earlier arranged marriage, he had already signed stating she could be married and Jordan didn't require him to say WHO she could marry, just that she could.  Over the course of weeks she brought clothing and documents, he took them and stored them in his house.  She flew out on the 8th of Sept.  He flew out on the 10th.  Her father would fly out on the 14th, which would greatly limit her movement, as he would want to spend the time with her.  On the 9th he received a call from a lawyer in Jordan he'd hired to research and was told he needed many more documents than what they'd already gathered.  The details are unimportant to this story, but he was hard pressed to gather them and there were some shady dealings, but he got it done.
 
The plan was almost destroyed due to bureaucrats and a religious holiday.  They were unable to marry on the afternoon of the 10th, as had been the original plan.  He hired a fixer.  The fixer, The Chechnyan was very resourceful, drove them to multiple embassies to get required documents and stamps.  He stole court documents, he may have kidnapped and/or bribed a sheik to do the ceremony, it was never quite clear which.  Like I said, Jordan's not real picky as long as the right people get paid.  The details are unimportant to this story.  For the price of a lawyer who thought he could get it done in a few months, months they didn't have, he made it happen for the couple on the Express plan.  They were married on the 13th of September, 2004, in the living room of a man they'd known for all of 3 days, in front of witnesses he'd hurriedly gathered from his neighbors.  There were no pictures.  They were in a hurry, she needed to return before her cousins grew suspicious.  He had not thought to bring a camera, his nerves were raw.  She returned to her home, he to his hotel, to await their marriage certificate.
 
The Chechnyan went to the court to get the certificate, knowing there were "irregularities" in the packet of documents but also knowing how Muslim cultures work he said this was best.  He told them we'd already left on our honeymoon, which they would understand to mean if they revoked the marriage she would be unable to find a proper marriage again.  The Chechnyan returned with the certificate, legally binding in any Muslim country and with it, one could get a civil certificate binding in the US.  In gratitude, when The Chechnyan refused to take any additional money, he bought a mattress and box spring. He knew that the one The Chechnyan and his wife slept on was worn out and they suffered from back pain because of it.  The Chechnyan had no choice but to accept, as he knew it would go to waste if he did not, and his honor was not impugned by accepting the gift.
 
He only had to get his bride away from her family to spirit her away.  He was now familiar enough with Muslim culture to know there were places that unescorted women could go that no man could enter, such as a hair salon.  He told her to make sure she had her passport and to go get her hair done.  Sure enough, her father dropped her off with the understanding he would pick her up again in 3 hours.  The Chechnyan pulled up, she came back out of the hair salon, and he drove her to the hotel where her groom was waiting, not willing to risk the father seeing him if he went to pick up his bride.  The Chechnyan took the couple to the airport, where they would fly back to Qatar.  He gave his cell phone to The Chechnyan.  Just before the plane closed its doors and the no electronics message was read, she sent a text to her father telling him not to pick her up, that she was with The American in a private cab on the way to Syria to be married.  The false trails were laid.
 
The Chechnyan would call him a few days later and say that yes, the father had called the phone.  Yes, he'd told him that he'd bought the phone from an American at the airport in Damascus for a very good price because he was flying to the USA with his new bride.  The false trails were complete.
 
In an abundance of caution, they would fly to Cyprus two months later and get married again in a civil ceremony.  The documentation was cleaner, it was in English, it would be a much easier presentation for her visa to move to the US with him.  They would continue to celebrate the 13th as their anniversary, though, because that's when they knew that the law, her family, and the culture couldn't keep them apart any longer.
 
The couple had a son.  Once his contract was up, they moved to the US and built a life.  It wasn't always easy.  There were adjustments, there were misunderstandings, there were some tough times and some hard work, but they built a life.
 
He was forever changed.  His anger subsided, he adjusted, he learned moderation.  He had, quite frankly, been a gigantic dick for much of his life.  He realized that she was much too good for him, and he strove to be who she deserved.  He failed.  He backslid.  He still does, but he's a much better human being for the trying.
 
She is, he believes, happy.
 
God send that it remains so.

On Sept 13th, 2004, a man who had fled to a war zone to save himself from himself was able to marry a woman who was brave enough to go against her family and her culture in the name of love.
 
In the summer of 2003 the man had an epiphany.  For reasons that are irrelevant to this story, he realized he needed to start over before his behaviors destroyed him.  He remembered the last place he'd been happy was the military, but with his fucked up knee he'd probably not get far in trying to reenlist.  He also wanted more freedom than an enlisted man had.  So he became a security contractor, moved half way around the world away from all influences and alcohol, and before Christmas of that year he was in a foreign country watching the sand blow around.
 
She was living with her parents, as is the custom of her land for unmarried women, and working as a pharmacist.  She'd had an arranged marriage planned, but it had fallen through when the man had immigrated to another country before they were actually married.  She was young, beautiful, and with a respectable career.  She had no shortage of suitors, she had taken to wearing a ring and pretending it was a wedding ring because she got so many proposals in a day.  Wealthy men, men of local fame from the media and the government services attempted to catch her eye.  None did.  She originally thought he was Lebanese, as he was sundark from working in the desert heat and dressed in local fashion.  He spoke Arabic poorly, though, and he was in fact an American.  She had nothing against Americans, she'd lived in Kuwait during the Iraqi invasion, and like the native Kuwaitis remembered US soldiers as liberators.  Still, Americans were an unknown quantity, often looking for a short term relationship that would destroy a woman's reputation and chances of a respectable marriage.  She initially was leery of the American, but finally relented and went out with him for dinner and a beach visit.  He invited her to his upcoming birthday party, she agreed to attend.  They would have their first kiss.  Love would blossom.  They would consider marriage.
 
Her father initially agreed, but due to pressure applied by the brothers for reasons that are unimportant to this story, withdrew his consent.  This made marriage impossible in the country they were in, as his signature was required for a legal marriage.  They created a plan that was both simple and devious.  She would say she wanted to fly to Jordan, where they maintained a home, to forget about the American.  He would fly to Jordan with all of the required paperwork.  Jordan did not require the father's signature because of the earlier arranged marriage, he had already signed stating she could be married and Jordan didn't require him to say WHO she could marry, just that she could.  Over the course of weeks she brought clothing and documents, he took them and stored them in his house.  She flew out on the 8th of Sept.  He flew out on the 10th.  Her father would fly out on the 14th, which would greatly limit her movement, as he would want to spend the time with her.  On the 9th he received a call from a lawyer in Jordan he'd hired to research and was told he needed many more documents than what they'd already gathered.  The details are unimportant to this story, but he was hard pressed to gather them and there were some shady dealings, but he got it done.
 
The plan was almost destroyed due to bureaucrats and a religious holiday.  They were unable to marry on the afternoon of the 10th, as had been the original plan.  He hired a fixer.  The fixer, The Chechnyan was very resourceful, drove them to multiple embassies to get required documents and stamps.  He stole court documents, he may have kidnapped and/or bribed a sheik to do the ceremony, it was never quite clear which.  Like I said, Jordan's not real picky as long as the right people get paid.  The details are unimportant to this story.  For the price of a lawyer who thought he could get it done in a few months, months they didn't have, he made it happen for the couple on the Express plan.  They were married on the 13th of September, 2004, in the living room of a man they'd known for all of 3 days, in front of witnesses he'd hurriedly gathered from his neighbors.  There were no pictures.  They were in a hurry, she needed to return before her cousins grew suspicious.  He had not thought to bring a camera, his nerves were raw.  She returned to her home, he to his hotel, to await their marriage certificate.
 
The Chechnyan went to the court to get the certificate, knowing there were "irregularities" in the packet of documents but also knowing how Muslim cultures work he said this was best.  He told them we'd already left on our honeymoon, which they would understand to mean if they revoked the marriage she would be unable to find a proper marriage again.  The Chechnyan returned with the certificate, legally binding in any Muslim country and with it, one could get a civil certificate binding in the US.  In gratitude, when The Chechnyan refused to take any additional money, he bought a mattress and box spring. He knew that the one The Chechnyan and his wife slept on was worn out and they suffered from back pain because of it.  The Chechnyan had no choice but to accept, as he knew it would go to waste if he did not, and his honor was not impugned by accepting the gift.
 
He only had to get his bride away from her family to spirit her away.  He was now familiar enough with Muslim culture to know there were places that unescorted women could go that no man could enter, such as a hair salon.  He told her to make sure she had her passport and to go get her hair done.  Sure enough, her father dropped her off with the understanding he would pick her up again in 3 hours.  The Chechnyan pulled up, she came back out of the hair salon, and he drove her to the hotel where her groom was waiting, not willing to risk the father seeing him if he went to pick up his bride.  The Chechnyan took the couple to the airport, where they would fly back to Qatar.  He gave his cell phone to The Chechnyan.  Just before the plane closed its doors and the no electronics message was read, she sent a text to her father telling him not to pick her up, that she was with The American in a private cab on the way to Syria to be married.  The false trails were laid.
 
The Chechnyan would call him a few days later and say that yes, the father had called the phone.  Yes, he'd told him that he'd bought the phone from an American at the airport in Damascus for a very good price because he was flying to the USA with his new bride.  The false trails were complete.
 
In an abundance of caution, they would fly to Cyprus two months later and get married again in a civil ceremony.  The documentation was cleaner, it was in English, it would be a much easier presentation for her visa to move to the US with him.  They would continue to celebrate the 13th as their anniversary, though, because that's when they knew that the law, her family, and the culture couldn't keep them apart any longer.
 
The couple had a son.  Once his contract was up, they moved to the US and built a life.  It wasn't always easy.  There were adjustments, there were misunderstandings, there were some tough times and some hard work, but they built a life.
 
He was forever changed.  His anger subsided, he adjusted, he learned moderation.  He had, quite frankly, been a gigantic dick for much of his life.  He realized that she was much too good for him, and he strove to be who she deserved.  He failed.  He backslid.  He still does, but he's a much better human being for the trying.
 
She is, he believes, happy.
 
God send that it remains so.

On Sept 13th, 2004, a man who had fled to a war zone to save himself from himself was able to marry a woman who was brave enough to go against her family and her culture in the name of love.
 
In the summer of 2003 the man had an epiphany.  For reasons that are irrelevant to this story, he realized he needed to start over before his behaviors destroyed him.  He remembered the last place he'd been happy was the military, but with his fucked up knee he'd probably not get far in trying to reenlist.  He also wanted more freedom than an enlisted man had.  So he became a security contractor, moved half way around the world away from all influences and alcohol, and before Christmas of that year he was in a foreign country watching the sand blow around.
 
She was living with her parents, as is the custom of her land for unmarried women, and working as a pharmacist.  She'd had an arranged marriage planned, but it had fallen through when the man had immigrated to another country before they were actually married.  She was young, beautiful, and with a respectable career.  She had no shortage of suitors, she had taken to wearing a ring and pretending it was a wedding ring because she got so many proposals in a day.  Wealthy men, men of local fame from the media and the government services attempted to catch her eye.  None did.  She originally thought he was Lebanese, as he was sundark from working in the desert heat and dressed in local fashion.  He spoke Arabic poorly, though, and he was in fact an American.  She had nothing against Americans, she'd lived in Kuwait during the Iraqi invasion, and like the native Kuwaitis remembered US soldiers as liberators.  Still, Americans were an unknown quantity, often looking for a short term relationship that would destroy a woman's reputation and chances of a respectable marriage.  She initially was leery of the American, but finally relented and went out with him for dinner and a beach visit.  He invited her to his upcoming birthday party, she agreed to attend.  They would have their first kiss.  Love would blossom.  They would consider marriage.
 
Her father initially agreed, but due to pressure applied by the brothers for reasons that are unimportant to this story, withdrew his consent.  This made marriage impossible in the country they were in, as his signature was required for a legal marriage.  They created a plan that was both simple and devious.  She would say she wanted to fly to Jordan, where they maintained a home, to forget about the American.  He would fly to Jordan with all of the required paperwork.  Jordan did not require the father's signature because of the earlier arranged marriage, he had already signed stating she could be married and Jordan didn't require him to say WHO she could marry, just that she could.  Over the course of weeks she brought clothing and documents, he took them and stored them in his house.  She flew out on the 8th of Sept.  He flew out on the 10th.  Her father would fly out on the 14th, which would greatly limit her movement, as he would want to spend the time with her.  On the 9th he received a call from a lawyer in Jordan he'd hired to research and was told he needed many more documents than what they'd already gathered.  The details are unimportant to this story, but he was hard pressed to gather them and there were some shady dealings, but he got it done.
 
The plan was almost destroyed due to bureaucrats and a religious holiday.  They were unable to marry on the afternoon of the 10th, as had been the original plan.  He hired a fixer.  The fixer, The Chechnyan was very resourceful, drove them to multiple embassies to get required documents and stamps.  He stole court documents, he may have kidnapped and/or bribed a sheik to do the ceremony, it was never quite clear which.  Like I said, Jordan's not real picky as long as the right people get paid.  The details are unimportant to this story.  For the price of a lawyer who thought he could get it done in a few months, months they didn't have, he made it happen for the couple on the Express plan.  They were married on the 13th of September, 2004, in the living room of a man they'd known for all of 3 days, in front of witnesses he'd hurriedly gathered from his neighbors.  There were no pictures.  They were in a hurry, she needed to return before her cousins grew suspicious.  He had not thought to bring a camera, his nerves were raw.  She returned to her home, he to his hotel, to await their marriage certificate.
 
The Chechnyan went to the court to get the certificate, knowing there were "irregularities" in the packet of documents but also knowing how Muslim cultures work he said this was best.  He told them we'd already left on our honeymoon, which they would understand to mean if they revoked the marriage she would be unable to find a proper marriage again.  The Chechnyan returned with the certificate, legally binding in any Muslim country and with it, one could get a civil certificate binding in the US.  In gratitude, when The Chechnyan refused to take any additional money, he bought a mattress and box spring. He knew that the one The Chechnyan and his wife slept on was worn out and they suffered from back pain because of it.  The Chechnyan had no choice but to accept, as he knew it would go to waste if he did not, and his honor was not impugned by accepting the gift.
 
He only had to get his bride away from her family to spirit her away.  He was now familiar enough with Muslim culture to know there were places that unescorted women could go that no man could enter, such as a hair salon.  He told her to make sure she had her passport and to go get her hair done.  Sure enough, her father dropped her off with the understanding he would pick her up again in 3 hours.  The Chechnyan pulled up, she came back out of the hair salon, and he drove her to the hotel where her groom was waiting, not willing to risk the father seeing him if he went to pick up his bride.  The Chechnyan took the couple to the airport, where they would fly back to Qatar.  He gave his cell phone to The Chechnyan.  Just before the plane closed its doors and the no electronics message was read, she sent a text to her father telling him not to pick her up, that she was with The American in a private cab on the way to Syria to be married.  The false trails were laid.
 
The Chechnyan would call him a few days later and say that yes, the father had called the phone.  Yes, he'd told him that he'd bought the phone from an American at the airport in Damascus for a very good price because he was flying to the USA with his new bride.  The false trails were complete.
 
In an abundance of caution, they would fly to Cyprus two months later and get married again in a civil ceremony.  The documentation was cleaner, it was in English, it would be a much easier presentation for her visa to move to the US with him.  They would continue to celebrate the 13th as their anniversary, though, because that's when they knew that the law, her family, and the culture couldn't keep them apart any longer.
 
The couple had a son.  Once his contract was up, they moved to the US and built a life.  It wasn't always easy.  There were adjustments, there were misunderstandings, there were some tough times and some hard work, but they built a life.
 
He was forever changed.  His anger subsided, he adjusted, he learned moderation.  He had, quite frankly, been a gigantic dick for much of his life.  He realized that she was much too good for him, and he strove to be who she deserved.  He failed.  He backslid.  He still does, but he's a much better human being for the trying.
 
She is, he believes, happy.
 
God send that it remains so.

On Sept 13th, 2004, a man who had fled to a war zone to save himself from himself was able to marry a woman who was brave enough to go against her family and her culture in the name of love.
 
In the summer of 2003 the man had an epiphany.  For reasons that are irrelevant to this story, he realized he needed to start over before his behaviors destroyed him.  He remembered the last place he'd been happy was the military, but with his fucked up knee he'd probably not get far in trying to reenlist.  He also wanted more freedom than an enlisted man had.  So he became a security contractor, moved half way around the world away from all influences and alcohol, and before Christmas of that year he was in a foreign country watching the sand blow around.
 
She was living with her parents, as is the custom of her land for unmarried women, and working as a pharmacist.  She'd had an arranged marriage planned, but it had fallen through when the man had immigrated to another country before they were actually married.  She was young, beautiful, and with a respectable career.  She had no shortage of suitors, she had taken to wearing a ring and pretending it was a wedding ring because she got so many proposals in a day.  Wealthy men, men of local fame from the media and the government services attempted to catch her eye.  None did.  She originally thought he was Lebanese, as he was sundark from working in the desert heat and dressed in local fashion.  He spoke Arabic poorly, though, and he was in fact an American.  She had nothing against Americans, she'd lived in Kuwait during the Iraqi invasion, and like the native Kuwaitis remembered US soldiers as liberators.  Still, Americans were an unknown quantity, often looking for a short term relationship that would destroy a woman's reputation and chances of a respectable marriage.  She initially was leery of the American, but finally relented and went out with him for dinner and a beach visit.  He invited her to his upcoming birthday party, she agreed to attend.  They would have their first kiss.  Love would blossom.  They would consider marriage.
 
Her father initially agreed, but due to pressure applied by the brothers for reasons that are unimportant to this story, withdrew his consent.  This made marriage impossible in the country they were in, as his signature was required for a legal marriage.  They created a plan that was both simple and devious.  She would say she wanted to fly to Jordan, where they maintained a home, to forget about the American.  He would fly to Jordan with all of the required paperwork.  Jordan did not require the father's signature because of the earlier arranged marriage, he had already signed stating she could be married and Jordan didn't require him to say WHO she could marry, just that she could.  Over the course of weeks she brought clothing and documents, he took them and stored them in his house.  She flew out on the 8th of Sept.  He flew out on the 10th.  Her father would fly out on the 14th, which would greatly limit her movement, as he would want to spend the time with her.  On the 9th he received a call from a lawyer in Jordan he'd hired to research and was told he needed many more documents than what they'd already gathered.  The details are unimportant to this story, but he was hard pressed to gather them and there were some shady dealings, but he got it done.
 
The plan was almost destroyed due to bureaucrats and a religious holiday.  They were unable to marry on the afternoon of the 10th, as had been the original plan.  He hired a fixer.  The fixer, The Chechnyan was very resourceful, drove them to multiple embassies to get required documents and stamps.  He stole court documents, he may have kidnapped and/or bribed a sheik to do the ceremony, it was never quite clear which.  Like I said, Jordan's not real picky as long as the right people get paid.  The details are unimportant to this story.  For the price of a lawyer who thought he could get it done in a few months, months they didn't have, he made it happen for the couple on the Express plan.  They were married on the 13th of September, 2004, in the living room of a man they'd known for all of 3 days, in front of witnesses he'd hurriedly gathered from his neighbors.  There were no pictures.  They were in a hurry, she needed to return before her cousins grew suspicious.  He had not thought to bring a camera, his nerves were raw.  She returned to her home, he to his hotel, to await their marriage certificate.
 
The Chechnyan went to the court to get the certificate, knowing there were "irregularities" in the packet of documents but also knowing how Muslim cultures work he said this was best.  He told them we'd already left on our honeymoon, which they would understand to mean if they revoked the marriage she would be unable to find a proper marriage again.  The Chechnyan returned with the certificate, legally binding in any Muslim country and with it, one could get a civil certificate binding in the US.  In gratitude, when The Chechnyan refused to take any additional money, he bought a mattress and box spring. He knew that the one The Chechnyan and his wife slept on was worn out and they suffered from back pain because of it.  The Chechnyan had no choice but to accept, as he knew it would go to waste if he did not, and his honor was not impugned by accepting the gift.
 
He only had to get his bride away from her family to spirit her away.  He was now familiar enough with Muslim culture to know there were places that unescorted women could go that no man could enter, such as a hair salon.  He told her to make sure she had her passport and to go get her hair done.  Sure enough, her father dropped her off with the understanding he would pick her up again in 3 hours.  The Chechnyan pulled up, she came back out of the hair salon, and he drove her to the hotel where her groom was waiting, not willing to risk the father seeing him if he went to pick up his bride.  The Chechnyan took the couple to the airport, where they would fly back to Qatar.  He gave his cell phone to The Chechnyan.  Just before the plane closed its doors and the no electronics message was read, she sent a text to her father telling him not to pick her up, that she was with The American in a private cab on the way to Syria to be married.  The false trails were laid.
 
The Chechnyan would call him a few days later and say that yes, the father had called the phone.  Yes, he'd told him that he'd bought the phone from an American at the airport in Damascus for a very good price because he was flying to the USA with his new bride.  The false trails were complete.
 
In an abundance of caution, they would fly to Cyprus two months later and get married again in a civil ceremony.  The documentation was cleaner, it was in English, it would be a much easier presentation for her visa to move to the US with him.  They would continue to celebrate the 13th as their anniversary, though, because that's when they knew that the law, her family, and the culture couldn't keep them apart any longer.
 
The couple had a son.  Once his contract was up, they moved to the US and built a life.  It wasn't always easy.  There were adjustments, there were misunderstandings, there were some tough times and some hard work, but they built a life.
 
He was forever changed.  His anger subsided, he adjusted, he learned moderation.  He had, quite frankly, been a gigantic dick for much of his life.  He realized that she was much too good for him, and he strove to be who she deserved.  He failed.  He backslid.  He still does, but he's a much better human being for the trying.
 
She is, he believes, happy.
 
God send that it remains so.

On Sept 13th, 2004, a man who had fled to a war zone to save himself from himself was able to marry a woman who was brave enough to go against her family and her culture in the name of love.
 
In the summer of 2003 the man had an epiphany.  For reasons that are irrelevant to this story, he realized he needed to start over before his behaviors destroyed him.  He remembered the last place he'd been happy was the military, but with his fucked up knee he'd probably not get far in trying to reenlist.  He also wanted more freedom than an enlisted man had.  So he became a security contractor, moved half way around the world away from all influences and alcohol, and before Christmas of that year he was in a foreign country watching the sand blow around.
 
She was living with her parents, as is the custom of her land for unmarried women, and working as a pharmacist.  She'd had an arranged marriage planned, but it had fallen through when the man had immigrated to another country before they were actually married.  She was young, beautiful, and with a respectable career.  She had no shortage of suitors, she had taken to wearing a ring and pretending it was a wedding ring because she got so many proposals in a day.  Wealthy men, men of local fame from the media and the government services attempted to catch her eye.  None did.  She originally thought he was Lebanese, as he was sundark from working in the desert heat and dressed in local fashion.  He spoke Arabic poorly, though, and he was in fact an American.  She had nothing against Americans, she'd lived in Kuwait during the Iraqi invasion, and like the native Kuwaitis remembered US soldiers as liberators.  Still, Americans were an unknown quantity, often looking for a short term relationship that would destroy a woman's reputation and chances of a respectable marriage.  She initially was leery of the American, but finally relented and went out with him for dinner and a beach visit.  He invited her to his upcoming birthday party, she agreed to attend.  They would have their first kiss.  Love would blossom.  They would consider marriage.
 
Her father initially agreed, but due to pressure applied by the brothers for reasons that are unimportant to this story, withdrew his consent.  This made marriage impossible in the country they were in, as his signature was required for a legal marriage.  They created a plan that was both simple and devious.  She would say she wanted to fly to Jordan, where they maintained a home, to forget about the American.  He would fly to Jordan with all of the required paperwork.  Jordan did not require the father's signature because of the earlier arranged marriage, he had already signed stating she could be married and Jordan didn't require him to say WHO she could marry, just that she could.  Over the course of weeks she brought clothing and documents, he took them and stored them in his house.  She flew out on the 8th of Sept.  He flew out on the 10th.  Her father would fly out on the 14th, which would greatly limit her movement, as he would want to spend the time with her.  On the 9th he received a call from a lawyer in Jordan he'd hired to research and was told he needed many more documents than what they'd already gathered.  The details are unimportant to this story, but he was hard pressed to gather them and there were some shady dealings, but he got it done.
 
The plan was almost destroyed due to bureaucrats and a religious holiday.  They were unable to marry on the afternoon of the 10th, as had been the original plan.  He hired a fixer.  The fixer, The Chechnyan was very resourceful, drove them to multiple embassies to get required documents and stamps.  He stole court documents, he may have kidnapped and/or bribed a sheik to do the ceremony, it was never quite clear which.  Like I said, Jordan's not real picky as long as the right people get paid.  The details are unimportant to this story.  For the price of a lawyer who thought he could get it done in a few months, months they didn't have, he made it happen for the couple on the Express plan.  They were married on the 13th of September, 2004, in the living room of a man they'd known for all of 3 days, in front of witnesses he'd hurriedly gathered from his neighbors.  There were no pictures.  They were in a hurry, she needed to return before her cousins grew suspicious.  He had not thought to bring a camera, his nerves were raw.  She returned to her home, he to his hotel, to await their marriage certificate.
 
The Chechnyan went to the court to get the certificate, knowing there were "irregularities" in the packet of documents but also knowing how Muslim cultures work he said this was best.  He told them we'd already left on our honeymoon, which they would understand to mean if they revoked the marriage she would be unable to find a proper marriage again.  The Chechnyan returned with the certificate, legally binding in any Muslim country and with it, one could get a civil certificate binding in the US.  In gratitude, when The Chechnyan refused to take any additional money, he bought a mattress and box spring. He knew that the one The Chechnyan and his wife slept on was worn out and they suffered from back pain because of it.  The Chechnyan had no choice but to accept, as he knew it would go to waste if he did not, and his honor was not impugned by accepting the gift.
 
He only had to get his bride away from her family to spirit her away.  He was now familiar enough with Muslim culture to know there were places that unescorted women could go that no man could enter, such as a hair salon.  He told her to make sure she had her passport and to go get her hair done.  Sure enough, her father dropped her off with the understanding he would pick her up again in 3 hours.  The Chechnyan pulled up, she came back out of the hair salon, and he drove her to the hotel where her groom was waiting, not willing to risk the father seeing him if he went to pick up his bride.  The Chechnyan took the couple to the airport, where they would fly back to Qatar.  He gave his cell phone to The Chechnyan.  Just before the plane closed its doors and the no electronics message was read, she sent a text to her father telling him not to pick her up, that she was with The American in a private cab on the way to Syria to be married.  The false trails were laid.
 
The Chechnyan would call him a few days later and say that yes, the father had called the phone.  Yes, he'd told him that he'd bought the phone from an American at the airport in Damascus for a very good price because he was flying to the USA with his new bride.  The false trails were complete.
 
In an abundance of caution, they would fly to Cyprus two months later and get married again in a civil ceremony.  The documentation was cleaner, it was in English, it would be a much easier presentation for her visa to move to the US with him.  They would continue to celebrate the 13th as their anniversary, though, because that's when they knew that the law, her family, and the culture couldn't keep them apart any longer.
 
The couple had a son.  Once his contract was up, they moved to the US and built a life.  It wasn't always easy.  There were adjustments, there were misunderstandings, there were some tough times and some hard work, but they built a life.
 
He was forever changed.  His anger subsided, he adjusted, he learned moderation.  He had, quite frankly, been a gigantic dick for much of his life.  He realized that she was much too good for him, and he strove to be who she deserved.  He failed.  He backslid.  He still does, but he's a much better human being for the trying.
 
She is, he believes, happy.
 
God send that it remains so.

Definitive answer = yes. changing does improve your odds. I actually came up with a simple program  to run the experiment 10,000 times for a college class
In it's simplist terms:
 
Staticistically speaking the first box you pick will be wrong 2 out 3 times.
 
This means that the correct box is one that you didn't choose 2 out of 3 times
 
Since the host will never reveal the winning box, when he reveals one box, the other un-opened box now has a 2 out of 3 chance of being right.
.
.
.
And Doc, it makes a huge difference whether or not the host knows which box to open or is randomly choosing one of the 2 boxes because you can't eliminate when the host reveals the winning box. You've lost the game right there.

So...apparently the anti-pony crowd seems to rely heavily on believing its tied to sexual perversion?  
 
I love cartoons.  Not just the "made for adult" cartoons, but shows like Recess, Phineas and Ferb, Spongebob, etc.  I watched Recess when I first got out of the Army and didn't even have kids.  I was a very angry person at the time.  It was a bright spot in my day.  If the pony thing gives that to someone else, who cares?
 
They try to force it on you?  Holy shit I hope you never meet a sports fan who's team is finally winning and how everyone else is just jumping on the damned bandwagon, not REAL fans like them.

That's kind of what I was thinking.  Trekkies, DnD geeks at GenCon, those guys who wear cheese on their heads and paint their obese bodies for a football game, etc. etc.  Why all the angst about this as some oddball sub-culture?
 
C'mon people, go judge people based on race, religion, and sexual orientation like a normal asshole.

That's kind of what I was thinking.  Trekkies, DnD geeks at GenCon, those guys who wear cheese on their heads and paint their obese bodies for a football game, etc. etc.  Why all the angst about this as some oddball sub-culture?
 
C'mon people, go judge people based on race, religion, and sexual orientation like a normal asshole.

The new TMNT game is kind of crap but I'm still trying to beat it...
 
People care because they're intrinsically fucking assholes. I thought that would be clear to anyone who's ever traveled the internet. Like the westboro baptist church idiots. God Hates Bronies

That doesn't help me in the slightest.  I honestly can't tell if this is satire or if this is a serious thread.  The whole post reads like "brony" is a substitute for "gays".  In the closet?  Tolerant as long as they don't force it on me?
 
Is this like when one of the Teletubbies was supposed to be gay?
 

Seriously?  Is the pony thing really such a divisive issue?  Why?  I mean, nobody gives me shit about liking Family Guy, and its a cartoon.

YouTube on the PS3 is certainly up to date...
http://db.tt/LbY0yDig

Inspired by Drifter's "Get off my lawn" thread.
 
Back when I was your age, we all knew sluts got famous by being sluts.  Madonna's cone bras and bustiers, Cher using her hair as a bra, that whole basically topless except for the things coming off my Egyptian hat thingy, it was how you got "discovered."  Nobody debated on WHY they were being sluts, they were being sluts because that's a tried and true formula to fame for female celebrities.  Miley is not breaking new ground here, she's following a very worn and proven path.  She's just had to up the game a bit because what sluts used to wear (say, Kelly Bundy on Married with Children) is now less slutty than what Disney girls wear.  Plus, you know, sex tapes and whatnot.  You just have to keep out-slutting the last generation to get the media attention.  On a side note, we used to use the word "sluts".
 
The Japanese were taking over the whole damned world.  They were this efficient little super race slowly eating us alive with the ever widening trade deficit.  Wal-mart would proudly hang signs over a toaster or pair of socks that would read "this item produced 15 jobs in Chickenfuck, TN" or where-ever.  Oh, and Wal-mart used to close for the night!  Hell, just before that there wasn't even a Wal-mart in most towns.  Yeah, I know.  China made plastic party favor shit and most people figured they were still using rickshaws and wearing pointy straw hats in their rice fields for the most part.
 
Let's see, what other catastrophes were going to kill us all.  Well, the Cold War until the Berlin Wall thing.  Yeah, the Russians were the bad guys back then.
 
Smokey Bear was telling us not to burn the damned woods down, and did it so well that apparently we didn't let the woods burn quite as often as we should have.  Sorry about that.
 
Alar on apples was poisoning us.  I guess that shook out ok.
 
Drunk driving was WIDELY accepted in society.  Then MADD came along and the pendulum swung way way way the other way.  To this day, we don't do checkpoints for any other misdemeanor, how many TV commercials have you seen about not doing some other misdemeanor crime?  Yes, kids, drinking and driving is bad, but holy crap to we emphasize enforcement of that (along with seat belt laws) way out of proportion to its actual damage to society.  On a side note, seat belts were optional.  Not just use, but installation.  Older folks had new cars with no seat belts at all.  I had two that had lap belts but no shoulder belts.
 
We didn't know we wanted more cowbell.
 
 
 
 
 

Inspired by Drifter's "Get off my lawn" thread.
 
Back when I was your age, we all knew sluts got famous by being sluts.  Madonna's cone bras and bustiers, Cher using her hair as a bra, that whole basically topless except for the things coming off my Egyptian hat thingy, it was how you got "discovered."  Nobody debated on WHY they were being sluts, they were being sluts because that's a tried and true formula to fame for female celebrities.  Miley is not breaking new ground here, she's following a very worn and proven path.  She's just had to up the game a bit because what sluts used to wear (say, Kelly Bundy on Married with Children) is now less slutty than what Disney girls wear.  Plus, you know, sex tapes and whatnot.  You just have to keep out-slutting the last generation to get the media attention.  On a side note, we used to use the word "sluts".
 
The Japanese were taking over the whole damned world.  They were this efficient little super race slowly eating us alive with the ever widening trade deficit.  Wal-mart would proudly hang signs over a toaster or pair of socks that would read "this item produced 15 jobs in Chickenfuck, TN" or where-ever.  Oh, and Wal-mart used to close for the night!  Hell, just before that there wasn't even a Wal-mart in most towns.  Yeah, I know.  China made plastic party favor shit and most people figured they were still using rickshaws and wearing pointy straw hats in their rice fields for the most part.
 
Let's see, what other catastrophes were going to kill us all.  Well, the Cold War until the Berlin Wall thing.  Yeah, the Russians were the bad guys back then.
 
Smokey Bear was telling us not to burn the damned woods down, and did it so well that apparently we didn't let the woods burn quite as often as we should have.  Sorry about that.
 
Alar on apples was poisoning us.  I guess that shook out ok.
 
Drunk driving was WIDELY accepted in society.  Then MADD came along and the pendulum swung way way way the other way.  To this day, we don't do checkpoints for any other misdemeanor, how many TV commercials have you seen about not doing some other misdemeanor crime?  Yes, kids, drinking and driving is bad, but holy crap to we emphasize enforcement of that (along with seat belt laws) way out of proportion to its actual damage to society.  On a side note, seat belts were optional.  Not just use, but installation.  Older folks had new cars with no seat belts at all.  I had two that had lap belts but no shoulder belts.
 
We didn't know we wanted more cowbell.
 
 
 
 
 

Inspired by Drifter's "Get off my lawn" thread.
 
Back when I was your age, we all knew sluts got famous by being sluts.  Madonna's cone bras and bustiers, Cher using her hair as a bra, that whole basically topless except for the things coming off my Egyptian hat thingy, it was how you got "discovered."  Nobody debated on WHY they were being sluts, they were being sluts because that's a tried and true formula to fame for female celebrities.  Miley is not breaking new ground here, she's following a very worn and proven path.  She's just had to up the game a bit because what sluts used to wear (say, Kelly Bundy on Married with Children) is now less slutty than what Disney girls wear.  Plus, you know, sex tapes and whatnot.  You just have to keep out-slutting the last generation to get the media attention.  On a side note, we used to use the word "sluts".
 
The Japanese were taking over the whole damned world.  They were this efficient little super race slowly eating us alive with the ever widening trade deficit.  Wal-mart would proudly hang signs over a toaster or pair of socks that would read "this item produced 15 jobs in Chickenfuck, TN" or where-ever.  Oh, and Wal-mart used to close for the night!  Hell, just before that there wasn't even a Wal-mart in most towns.  Yeah, I know.  China made plastic party favor shit and most people figured they were still using rickshaws and wearing pointy straw hats in their rice fields for the most part.
 
Let's see, what other catastrophes were going to kill us all.  Well, the Cold War until the Berlin Wall thing.  Yeah, the Russians were the bad guys back then.
 
Smokey Bear was telling us not to burn the damned woods down, and did it so well that apparently we didn't let the woods burn quite as often as we should have.  Sorry about that.
 
Alar on apples was poisoning us.  I guess that shook out ok.
 
Drunk driving was WIDELY accepted in society.  Then MADD came along and the pendulum swung way way way the other way.  To this day, we don't do checkpoints for any other misdemeanor, how many TV commercials have you seen about not doing some other misdemeanor crime?  Yes, kids, drinking and driving is bad, but holy crap to we emphasize enforcement of that (along with seat belt laws) way out of proportion to its actual damage to society.  On a side note, seat belts were optional.  Not just use, but installation.  Older folks had new cars with no seat belts at all.  I had two that had lap belts but no shoulder belts.
 
We didn't know we wanted more cowbell.
 
 
 
 
 

Inspired by Drifter's "Get off my lawn" thread.
 
Back when I was your age, we all knew sluts got famous by being sluts.  Madonna's cone bras and bustiers, Cher using her hair as a bra, that whole basically topless except for the things coming off my Egyptian hat thingy, it was how you got "discovered."  Nobody debated on WHY they were being sluts, they were being sluts because that's a tried and true formula to fame for female celebrities.  Miley is not breaking new ground here, she's following a very worn and proven path.  She's just had to up the game a bit because what sluts used to wear (say, Kelly Bundy on Married with Children) is now less slutty than what Disney girls wear.  Plus, you know, sex tapes and whatnot.  You just have to keep out-slutting the last generation to get the media attention.  On a side note, we used to use the word "sluts".
 
The Japanese were taking over the whole damned world.  They were this efficient little super race slowly eating us alive with the ever widening trade deficit.  Wal-mart would proudly hang signs over a toaster or pair of socks that would read "this item produced 15 jobs in Chickenfuck, TN" or where-ever.  Oh, and Wal-mart used to close for the night!  Hell, just before that there wasn't even a Wal-mart in most towns.  Yeah, I know.  China made plastic party favor shit and most people figured they were still using rickshaws and wearing pointy straw hats in their rice fields for the most part.
 
Let's see, what other catastrophes were going to kill us all.  Well, the Cold War until the Berlin Wall thing.  Yeah, the Russians were the bad guys back then.
 
Smokey Bear was telling us not to burn the damned woods down, and did it so well that apparently we didn't let the woods burn quite as often as we should have.  Sorry about that.
 
Alar on apples was poisoning us.  I guess that shook out ok.
 
Drunk driving was WIDELY accepted in society.  Then MADD came along and the pendulum swung way way way the other way.  To this day, we don't do checkpoints for any other misdemeanor, how many TV commercials have you seen about not doing some other misdemeanor crime?  Yes, kids, drinking and driving is bad, but holy crap to we emphasize enforcement of that (along with seat belt laws) way out of proportion to its actual damage to society.  On a side note, seat belts were optional.  Not just use, but installation.  Older folks had new cars with no seat belts at all.  I had two that had lap belts but no shoulder belts.
 
We didn't know we wanted more cowbell.
 
 
 
 
 

^ That last song was incredible, Doc.  Nice.  
 
Here's on of my personal favorite musicians of all time now that you've brought up country music.  
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdUrg2Cqxdw
 


 

Western swing/Texas swing is a genre of classic country, influenced by big band swing, polka, and jazz, it incorporates horns, accordians, and typically has larger bands than traditional country.
 
Bob Wills is probably the most famous, and the name that is most likely to be recognized today.
 


 
Spade Cooley
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAPLc52PnQo
 
and a more modern interpretation (starts at 0:28, Junior Brown doesn't break between his songs, he just flows from one into the next)