How to Be a Man

[spectre 633]

I happen to think that some of the problems we currently face is a lack of real Masculine Role Models.  Drifter's "Get off my lawn" thread highlights problems with family that probably have roots in "single mother" homes and lack of father's.  50% divorce rates, etc.

 

So what does Being a Man mean to you?

 

Share your thoughts, passages from books, how to videos, famous quotes, etc.

 

I'll start with a passage from a book I'm currently reading entitled

 

The Art of Manliness

 

---

on Self-Reliance

 

Every Man Should be able to Save his own Life

from Endurance, 1926

by Earle Liederman

 

Every man should be able to save his own life. He should be able to swim far enough, run fast and long enough to save his life in case of emergency and necessity.  He also should be able to chin himself a reasonable number of times, as well as to dip a number of times and he should be able to jump a reasonable height and distance.

 

If he is of the fat, porpose type, naturally he cannot do all, if any, of these things; he has nobody to blame but himself, and his way of living that has brought his body into its condition of obesity.

 

Suppose - and it has happend many times - there should be a fire at sea or on a lake or river; should one be half a mile or more from the shore, he would be mighty thankful to realize, were he compelled to jump for his life from the fire, that he could swim that distance and reach the shore in safety.

 

Suppose one were in a burning building and he had to lower himself hand under hand down a rope or down an improvised rope of bedclothing tied together to reach the ground in safety; he again would be thankful a thousand times that he possessed the strength and endurance in his arms and coordinate muscles that would enable him to save himself. Such things never may happen, and let us hope they do not, but what has happend always is possible to occur again - and, in fact, is always happening to someone.

 

I do not believe in everyone striving to be a long distance swimmer, a long distance runner, or any kind of endurance athlete.

 

But he should be able to swim at least half a mile or more; he should be able to run at top speed two hundred yards or more; he should be able to jump over obstacles higher than his waist; and he should be in condition to pull his body weight upward by the strength of his arms, until his chin touches his hands, at least fifteen to twenty times; and as for pushing ability, he should be able to dip between parallel bars or between two chairs at least twenty-five times or more.

 

If he can accomplish these things he need have no fear concerning the safety of his life should he be forced into an emergency from which he alone may be able to save himself.

 

---

 

[spectre 633]

"A man does what needs to be done, whether he wants to do it or not."

[Drifter 851]

Good topic brother. Being a man to me...

 

Keep your word. If you say you are going to do something, do it.

 

Be there for your family. Me personally, I have foregone things I want so I could buy/loan/give money to my family. Do what you need to do for family no matter what IMO even if it hurts you personally, and never let them know it hurt you IMO.

 

Admit when your wrong. I know many guys that will never admit they are wrong. My opinion, if I am wrong, I will admit it. A man will always admit when he is wrong.

 

Help people, don't be smug or holier than thou.

 

Lastly...just try to help people. Trust me I am NOT a people person lol. Every test I take tells me I am an "introvert" and I honestly do not like people. All my hobbies prove that (Bonsai, fish keeping, fly tying, rod building) all solitarie hobbies,yet, if someone needs help/advice, no matter what I will be there to help them, just ask guys here.

 

I could add more but I think that covers most IMO.

 

Oh...and a beard!

[spectre 633]

Good post ^

 

---

 

Don't let the following video title throw you off. There is tons of good wisdom to be found here on becoming a better person and man.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAIqAznKS3Y

[Dattebayo 446]

On top of what Driftor said?

Be a gentleman. Keep doors open for random strangers, return a "Good morning", things of that ilk.

Sacrifice. If eating less or nothing at all of the food you make will keep your family not-hungry, do so with a smile.

And not getting too caught up in proving your own manliness is a big one.

[Plumbers Crack 4,062]

You don't have to be macho to be a man

[BO7H B4RRELS 2,453]

I'll reply more later, but I really like what you guys have said so far.  I'll just add for now that if you're a real man, you don't need to advertise it to everyone.  I've run across so many kids in the juvenile system that feel the need to tell me, "I'm a man, you can't tell me what to do."   Right... because a man needs to announce that he's a man, lol.  

 

A man takes care of his family first and foremost.  

 

A man doesn't crumble under pressure.  A man can set his pride aside to work a job he hates, have a tea party w/ his daughter, and play peek-a-boo in public w/ his son. 

[spectre 633]

The Man in the Arena

from the speech, Citizenship in a Republic, 1910

by Theodore Roosevelt

 

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,  and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat

 

[spectre 633]

My interpretation ^ - You never know until you try. If you don't try, you fail anyway.  A great example of this is when you see a beautiful woman and decide against approaching her.  What have you got to lose?  We shouldn't care what the consequences of certain actions bring us, such as the perceived social miscalibration.  We should pounce upon those opportunities and at best, we can learn from our mistakes.

[tronic44 3,642]

To be a true man you must beat at least 5 things a day, can be anything, from your penis to your neighbour.

 

but seriously, i like what you guys have put down so far. I completely agree with everything that has been said. I'll try and write a bit more once the footies finished because i'm not really concentrating. BTW the bit at the tops a joke, just thought i should mention that.

[spectre 633]

To be a true man you must beat at least 5 things a day, can be anything, from your penis to your neighbour.

 

but seriously, i like what you guys have put down so far. I completely agree with everything that has been said. I'll try and write a bit more once the footies finished because i'm not really concentrating. BTW the bit at the tops a joke, just thought i should mention that.

 

oh, you know you beat your meat more than 5 times a day.

[tronic44 3,642]

Oh i go above and beyond being a man, i've beat it so much i'm now part cyborg

[tronic44 3,642]

Oh i go above and beyond being a man, i've beat it so much i'm now part cyborg

wtf?

 

I'm even going to wtf myself there 

[Plumbers Crack 4,062]

Gotcha!!

[Chookes 965]

Being a man in Scotland is wearing a kilt without any underwear.

[Dattebayo 446]

Real men headbutt Krogans in mid-sentence.

[TigerBurge 2,375]

How to be a man..... do the opposite of Euan

[Chookes 965]

How to be a man..... do the opposite of Euan

That's mean. It's like you haven't considered my feelings before making that comment.

This is just a horrible day, I felt so fat this morning looking at myself in the mirror.

Sob.

[Dattebayo 446]

^crie evritiem

[TigerBurge 2,375]

That's mean. It's like you haven't considered my feelings before making that comment.

This is just a horrible day, I felt so fat this morning looking at myself in the mirror.

Sob.

I heart you Euan.

[Chookes 965]

I heart you Euan.

Not very manly that.

[Sennex 1,903]

Robert E Lee's Definition of a Gentleman

-----

The forbearing use of power does not only form a touchstone, but the manner in which an individual enjoys certain advantages over others is a test of a true gentleman.

 

The power which the strong have over the weak, the employer over the employed, the educated over the unlettered, the experienced over the confiding, even the clever over the silly--the forbearing or inoffensive use of all this power or authority, or a total abstinence from it when the case admits it, will show the gentleman in a plain light

 

The gentleman does not needlessly and unnecessarily remind an offender of a wrong he may have committed against him. He cannot only forgive, he can forget; and he strives for that nobleness of self and mildness of character which impart sufficient strength to let the past be but the past. A true man of honor feels humbled himself when he cannot help humbling others.

-----

 

John Wayne defines a man based on his acting experiences:

 

"I want to play a real man in all my films, and I define manhood simply:
men should be tough, fair, and courageous, never petty, never looking for a fight, but never backing down from one either.

 

"I made up my mind that I was going to play a real man to the best of my ability.  I felt many of the Western stars of the twenties and thirties were too goddamn perfect.  They never drank or smoked.  They never wanted to go to bed with a beautiful girl.  They never had a fight.  A heavy might throw a chair at them, and they just looked surprised and didn't fight in this spirit.  They were too goddamn sweet and pure to be dirty fighters.  Well, I wanted to be a dirty fighter if that was the only way to fight back.  If someone throws a chair at you, hell, you pick up a chair and belt him right back.  I was trying to play a man who gets dirty, who sweats sometimes, who enjoys kissing a gal he likes, who gets angry, who fights clean whenever possible but will fight dirty if he has to.  You could say I made the Western hero a roughneck.

 

"I would like to be remembered, well... the Mexicans have a phrase, 'Feo fuerte y formal'.
  Which means;  he was ugly, strong and had dignity."

[spectre 633]

^ nice, I really enjoyed the John Wayne perspective.