Do you dunk your penis?

[Diddums 4,346]

Ehrmahgehrd. This is the funniest thread on teh interwebz.

 

I can't copy any content on my work PC, but click here.

 

 

EDIT: It worked!

 

 

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

[cyberninja2601 1,106]

Stick it in her mouth. There you go, clean peeker

[Docwagon 856]

Reminds me of a story.  Remember the "things your dad taught you" thread?  Remember I said "Never take Eddie to town" on that one?  Yeah, same Eddie.

 

I worked as a laborer on a construction site in my teens.  My dad and Eddie were both experienced carpenters.  There were several other guys, many that I never learned the real names of, but the one of note for this story was Thomas J. Turdbucket, Esq.  I have no idea why they called him that, but that was what everyone on the site called him.  Tommy Turdbucket or Tommy for short.  Tommy spent the majority of his pay on weed and didn't have a car, so Eddie took him back and forth to work.  As such Tommy was familiar with Eddie's truck and where Eddie kept things.

 

Anyone who's worked outside in the Indiana weather knows that in the fall and spring the weather can swing quite a bit, temperature wise, from morning to night.  Eddie kept a sweatshirt behind his seat in case it got too cool and he hadn't dressed for it.

 

Well, one day Tommy got cold and decided he'd had enough being cold so he went to Eddie's truck to get the sweatshirt.  This would have been comical enough, as about 3.25 Tommies can fit inside one Eddie.

 

Tommy comes back to the site and yells out, "Hey, Eddie.  I borrowed your sweatshirt."  Eddie is on the other side of the house hanging brick freeze and can't see Tommy.

Eddie, "The red one or the gray one?"

Tommy, "The gray one."

Eddie, "....that's my wipe rag."

Tommy, ".....what's a wipe rag?  Like for oil?"

 

At this point we all look over and see Tommy in a gray sweatshirt with...chalky stripes on it.

Eddie, "No, for like when I pick up some whore and need to clean my dick afterward.  You didn't put it on, did you?"

 

Tommy now doesn't know weather he should shit or go blind.  He desperately wants it off, but doesn't want to touch the outside again to pull it off.

 

Tommy, " *random spluttering* WIPE YOUR DICK???  *random spluttering*" and runs back toward Eddie's truck.  I'm not sure why.  He apparently gets the shirt off in some fashion and comes back pissed at Eddie for "being a dirty motherfucker who leaves a dick wipe rag in his truck."  Eddie points out that Tommy should have asked to borrow the shirt before going into his truck in the first place and he can kindly shut the fuck up about it or walk home that day.  Tommy shut the fuck up.

[Dr Diamond 407]

dave


what the fuck are you doing on mumsnet ?