Agony Aunt.....or Uncle. Whatever, I'll help you

[uberwarrior 373]

Dear Cal, how can I reverse the signs of ageing. I'm pissed off with unruly grey hairs, creaking joints and waking up feeling like I'm hangover when I've not even had a drink!!

 

My eyesight is failing rapidly, but I'm too stubborn to go and get my eyes tested. I have a solar panel developing at the back of my head.

 

All these things come with age, and to some degree I accept them, but it's just not right. Your help and insight would be most helpful.

 

Yours faithfully

 

Wun hung lo!

[Just Cal 461]

I'll get around to proper answers later lads. Doing some work and can only post little things at a time

[Chookes 965]

Dear Cal, how can I reverse the signs of ageing. I'm pissed off with unruly grey hairs, creaking joints and waking up feeling like I'm hangover when I've not even had a drink!!

My eyesight is failing rapidly, but I'm too stubborn to go and get my eyes tested. I have a solar panel developing at the back of my head.

All these things come with age, and to some degree I accept them, but it's just not right. Your help and insight would be most helpful.

Yours faithfully

Wun hung lo!

Are you not in a home yet?

[uberwarrior 373]

Dear Cal, who would be the best person to contact for a contract killing on a Ageist Scotsman?

[Just Cal 461]

Dear Cal, who would be the best person to contact for a contract killing on a Ageist Scotsman?

 

Mel Gibson.

[uberwarrior 373]

Mel Gibson.

Thanks Cal, I'm now writing to Mel to see if he can stick one on Euan!

[Chookes 965]

Dear Cal, who would be the best person to contact for a contract killing on a Ageist Scotsman?

 

I only have fun at an elderly's expense because they'll probably forget what I said straight away anyway.

 

And Mel Gibson loves the Scots. It's the English he doesn't like (I would post proof of him beheading an Englishman if I wasn't at work).

[Docwagon 856]

I fail to see how this is funny... So, to you, being transgender = the same as wanting to be an animal?

F**k that. I've known people through the years who have been TG and it's a legitimate disorder. Comparing them to wanting to be animals is just as bad as homophobia and racism really.

Wow, dude.

 

You did see the follow up question was about fruit trees, yes?  Are you going to head over to the necrophilia guide and say how that's nothing to be joked about as well?  Neither is a serious thread.

 

Since you brought it up, I don't care one way or the other about transgender.  It takes up about as much of my concern as breast implants or hair transplants, ie, zero.  Whatever you want to do to your body, go for it, wtf would I care?  As long as I don't have to pay for it, I don't care if you rectify your perceived gender issues with therapy or hormones and surgery.

[Palle 491]

You did see the follow up question was about fruit trees, yes?  Are you going to head over to the necrophilia guide and say how that's nothing to be joked about as well?  Neither is a serious thread.

 

Since you brought it up, I don't care one way or the other about transgender.  It takes up about as much of my concern as breast implants or hair transplants, ie, zero.  Whatever you want to do to your body, go for it, wtf would I care?  As long as I don't have to pay for it, I don't care if you rectify your perceived gender issues with therapy or hormones and surgery.

Ok, fine man. I admit I misunderstood your post and overreacted. I don't know, was newly awake... Sorry.

[Docwagon 856]

Ok, fine man. I admit I misunderstood your post and overreacted. I don't know, was newly awake... Sorry.

 

No worries.  Its easy to misconstrue intent when you're just looking at text.

[Dattebayo 446]

[Docwagon 856]

Dear Cal,

 

Early in our dating relationship, my wife invited me to meet her family.  She was bragging and bragging about what a great cook her mother was and how I would just love everything.  We went and dinner was great...until dessert.  See, her mom makes this jello thing with cherries suspended in it.  I hate the texture of cherries and I never eat them whole like that.  However I was anxious to make a good first impression, and of course I didn't want to upset my wife who thinks her mom is God's gift to the dinner table, so I just manned up and ate it.  Of course my future mother-in-law wanted to know what I thought of her signature dessert, so I played it up.  I said how much I liked it, how I'd never had cherries served in such an interesting fashion, etc.

 

That's been twelve years ago.  Now EVERY DAMNED TIME WE GO guess what's for dessert?  Oh yeah, the son in law's FAVORITE cherry dessert.  It makes me throw up a little in my mouth, but after this long I'm embarrassed to admit I don't like cherries and have just been playing along for over a decade.  Its going to ruin Thanksgiving, I just know it.

 

Should I stage her death so it looks like a suicide, an accident, or just have her disappear?  Maybe take out the pool boy too and make it look like they ran off together?

[Just Cal 461]

I ain't saying nuffink. This is a cop trap hahaha

[JsinOwl 644]

pussy

[Docwagon 856]

I ain't saying nuffink. This is a cop trap hahaha

 

Damn it.  Now I got Interpol waiting outside your house for no damned reason.  Thanks for making me look like a dick, Cal.

[Diddums 4,346]

I'll answer properly soon enough haha (Cal)

[Dattebayo 446]

ignore this

[Dattebayo 446]

Dear Cal,

Magnets. How do they f*cking work?

Sincerely, Dr. Floppywang, M.D.

[cyberninja2601 1,106]

 

Dear Cal,

Magnets. How do they f*cking work?

Sincerely, Dr. Floppywang, M.D.

 

 

Permanent or electric?

 

 

[Dattebayo 446]

Dear Cal,

Magnets. How do they f*cking work?

Sincerely, Dr. Floppywang, M.D.

Permanent or electric?

Coated in chocolate.