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Story times with Diddums!


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Pull up a chair, grab a cup of tea. As most of you know, I do the odd matched betting now and again, and a side effect of this is that occasionally the bookies want me to get responsibly addicted to their casinos. To do this they'll put a nice little lure on their rods and cast it to my bullshit Gmail account, and today I bit on one of those lures, nice and deep. 

 

Today's lure was from Grosvenor Casinos and it came in the form of a £10 bonus to use on their live casino. I'll save you the boring shit but live casino bonuses are always great as you stand the highest chance of making something. To do this, I needed to roll that £10 over 5 times which we always do on roulette as it's the most constant win. 

 

So I enter the roulette room and stick a quid on red, hit autoplay, 50 rounds, begin. The action has begun. 

 

Now at this point I'd like to point out that these offers tend to get flung at me on Fridays because everyone knows that responsible gambling is best promoted on a Friday night when people are pissed, this includes me. So usually when this happens I open a tab on my PC, do the autoplay thing and hop on the ps4. Like I did last time. 

 

Now you guys all know the loveable affable chappie I am after a few drinks so last time I did this I was prompted to pick a name. After a few beers. 

 

Anyway, fast forward a few months to this afternoon and the wheel is spinning, when the croupier (the well dressed meth heads who manage to keep the shakes off long enough to spin a wheel on a table) starts talking about horses. 

 

A bit confused, I put it down to him chatting to one of the players or something. Yet he goes on about touching horses, how disgusting this is, how unacceptable, etc. Proper moody, but I'm just watching the wheel spin and the ball hit the reds. 

 

This goes on for 10 mins or so, eventually penny drops when I win again and see my username pop up as a winner on the screen. I giggle to myself. 

 

He goes on. Horses this, inappropriate that, and he's getting more and more irritated. Eventually he reports me to the roulette police who then change my name to something less horsy. 

 

I've still not said a word in chat or anything, the only way he's seen my name is when I win. So now I wanna play his game. 

 

Hit settings. Change name. "safespacepls". Submit. Ha, that'll learn 'im. 

 

He starts flapping again at how disgusting this is and says it's unacceptable that I changed my name back again. The roulette police step in again and he's put his dummy back in. 

 

Confused, I try again. "safespacepls". He kicks off again, each time getting angrier and angrier. 

 

Eventually he's having a moment about how the supervisors are never quick enough to action these pigs who pick these names. The table is spinning. The ball is in action. Whilst he's having a flap, I'm trying to figure out why my name won't change, and in doing so keep changing it back from my supervisor - assigned name to my original name. 

 

The wheel slows, the ball lands on red. My name flashes on the screen so he can see it. He rips his cute little coat off, exclaims THAT'S IT and storms off. Someone else takes his place, sees my name and smiles, but never speaks it out loud. He's one of us. 

 

So today was the first time in many, many years I've managed to get a croupier to rage quit and it was completely unintentional. 

 

The name? Iwankhorses

😄

Funniest £20 I ever made.

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Pull up a chair, grab a cup of tea. As most of you know, I do the odd matched betting now and again, and a side effect of this is that occasionally the bookies want me to get responsibly addicted to t

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